High Maintenance
by Lisaslovestories
Summary: "I can't do this" he whispered. "Yes, you can.." I didn't even contemplate the fact that I was trying to seduce a married man, I didn't think of the consequences my actions would have. I just knew that my need for him was too strong to resist anymore. AH
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: S. Meyer owns everything Twilight.**

**Summary: **Bella gets a job as a housekeeper, and at first her biggest worry is that she won't be able to find her way through the huge mansion. She should, however, have been worrying about the fact that her employer, Edward Cullen, is everything she had ever wanted in a man. Except for the fact that he is married to Tanya Cullen, of course. Can Edward and Bella resist the powerful attraction between them? And if they can't, will the wife find out?

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**High Maintenance**

_Prologue._

"_I can't do this…" he breathed, but his actions betrayed his words as he held me closer, running his lips against my jaw._

_My heart was pounding erratically in my chest and my breathing grew heavier by the second. I slipped my fingers into his hair, locking him to me. If he let go now, I would break down. After all this time, we had finally gotten here, and I knew that I couldn't back away now. I just hoped that he wouldn't…_

"_Yes, you can." I didn't even contemplate the fact that I was trying to seduce a married man, I didn't think of the consequences my actions would have. I just knew that my need for him was too strong to resist anymore. _

"_This is wrong, we shouldn't be doing this." I could barely hear him, his lips were at my neck now, and the feeling that coursed through me made my head spin. I wanted him, I needed him, right now. _

"_Don't think…__" I whispered, and his lips found mine as his arms held me almost painfully close. I knew that his need was as strong as mine in that moment, and my heart sang as we both gave in to the desire we had been suppressing for too long. _

**

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**

**Chapter one. **

"It'll be fine, Bella, you'll do great, I'm sure of it." Alice said as I stepped out of the car. "Just remember that Mrs. Cullen is a bitch, so don't let her get to you when you meet her."

I sighed. "Remind me again why I'm doing this, Alice?"

"Because you need the money, there aren't any other jobs out there and I was really lucky to get you this one."

"I nodded, I knew she was right. I had been looking for a job forever but there just weren't any jobs to be found right now. When Alice had told me that she'd managed to talk her boss, Tanya Cullen, into letting me replace their housekeeper, Mrs. Cope, who was retiring, I'd panicked.

I was a newly graduated student, and I doubted that my degree in English literature would come in hand when I tried to figure out whether to machine wash or hand wash Mrs. Cullen's fancy cocktail dresses.

But I had no choice. It was June, school had ended and I needed a way to pay the rent during the summer before Alice and I moved and I started my internship at a publishing firm in New York. The money I had inherited when my parents past away had been used to pay my college tuition, and since the local sporting goods store where I had worked previous years had been forced to close, I had no other way to get the money I needed.

So here I was, about to start my summer job in the ridiculously huge mansion belonging to Mr. and Mrs. Cullen. Tanya Cullen owned a successful clothing store in town, and Alice had worked for her for about a month. She was a beautiful, terrifying woman in her mid thirties, and I had heard enough horror stories from Alice to know that Tanya was not a woman you ever wanted to cross. She would shred you to pieces with her impeccably manicured fingers without thinking twice about it. But as long as you showed her respect and did as you were told, you'd be safe, Alice had reassured me.

Mr. Cullen was apparently a very influential man, he worked as a lawyer and from what I had heard, he was the best there was.

To say that I was intimidated by this power couple would be an understatement. I was surprised that Mrs. Cullen would allow someone with absolutely no experience to come and work for her, but apparently Alice had made such a great impression on her during the short amount of time she'd worked there, and she had convinced Mrs. Cullen that she would not be disappointed if she gave me a chance. It was just for the summer, and then they would hire someone new as I started my internship.

I was grateful for the job, but sick to my stomach with nerves.

"Go on now, Bella. Just be you and everything will be alright." Alice smiled.

"Thanks, Alice, I'll see you at home tonight." I closed the car door and watched as my best friend drove off.

Alice had told me that Tanya wouldn't be home all day. They had a staff meeting later on, so I would be shown around by Mrs. Cope, who was working her last day.

I walked up the path leading to the white mansion, admiring the beautiful garden. If the house was big, it was nothing compared to the garden. Huge, perfectly mown lawns stretched on and on, on both sides of the house and I guessed that the backside was even bigger.

_They must have at least 4 gardeners to look after this place. _I thought as my eyes swept over the place, noticing how all the trees and bushes looked like they had been trimmed with a ruler. It was insane how straight all the edges were.

I reached the porch, which I guessed ran around the entire house. There were a comfortable looking sofa and matching chairs to my right. I imagined that Mr. and Mrs. Cullen would spend their afternoons on this porch, enjoying the evening sun.

Taking a steadying breath, I rang the doorbell and waited.

A few seconds later, the door opened and I was greeted by an old, friendly looking woman. I realized that it must be Mrs. Cope.

"Miss Swan, I presume?" she smiled, and held the door opened for me to enter.

"Yes" I answered, stepping inside and holding out a hand to her. She took it and I could feel the rough skin of her fingers, no doubt from years and years working as a housekeeper. "And you must be Mrs. Cope?" I returned her warm smile.

"Yes, but please call me Evelyn, dear." she released my hand and closed the door behind us. The cool air inside the house was a welcome change from the blazing June sun outside.

I was dressed in a dark blue skirt that I hoped was long enough to be appropriate, and a pale pink top. Alice had told me that I would be provided with clothes on arrival, and I saw that Mrs. Cope was wearing a white short sleeved blouse and a black skirt. I guessed I would get the same uniform.

"It's a beautiful house" I said, looking around. Someone with excellent taste had obviously decorated the extravagant home. From where I stood by the door, I could see a living room with swirling staircase in the other end of the hallway.

"Oh yes" Mrs. Cope began, starting down the hall, we walked past to closed doors on either side and then turned left into a luxurious dining room as she spoke, "Mr. Cullen's mother works as an interior designer, she and Mrs. Cullen spend several months turning this place into what it is today. There are two floors, on the second one there are two guest bedrooms, a library, the master bedroom and Mr. Cullen's office."

"Does he work from home?" I asked, suddenly nervous again. Mrs. Copes' friendly manner had calmed my nerves some, but now I was anxious again. I didn't really feel comfortable doing a job I had no idea how to do while someone was watching my every step. What if I messed up?

"He's here most days, but he hardly ever leaves his office during the day. You'll probably not even see him except at lunchtime." she said as we walked through the dining room and into another corridor. It kind of felt like a maze, I desperately hoped that I wouldn't get lost…

"That reminds me," she continued, "Mr. Cullen has his lunch at 12:00 sharp, if he is working at home."

Oh shit, I thought. Cooking? Alice hadn't said anything about that! I could cook, of course, but I wasn't sure if it would be good enough for someone like Mr. Cullen.

Mrs. Cope saw my panicked expression, she smiled reassuringly at me. "He's not picky when it comes to food, just make sure it's ready when he asks for it."

I would have thought that someone who had their trees trimmed with a ruler would be fussy about what he ate, but I guess that wasn't the case with Mr. Cullen.

Mrs. Cope led me down the corridor and showed me the room where I would store my things and change into my work clothes. There was also a small kitchen area and a sofa with a flat screen TV and adjoining bathroom.

Wow, I thought, this room was almost bigger than Alice's and my apartment. That's… strange.

We continued our tour through the house, and Mrs. Cope talked me through everything I would need to know. I tried to remember everything she said, while wondering how I would ever be able to find my way out of here without a map and a compass.

We reached the second floor after climbing the beautiful staircase in the grand living room, and Mrs. Cope pointed out the rooms as we went. Mr. Cullen's office was at the end of the hall, the door closed.

"Is Mr. Cullen at home?" I asked, and Mrs. Cope nodded.

"He is, and it is very important that you do not, under any circumstances, disturb him if his door is closed, it means that you should consider him to not be there at all." she had a very serious expression as she explained, "Mr. Cullen is a very busy and very private man, he doesn't want anyone in his room unless he says so. You will only be cleaning in there when he asks you to."

If I had been intimidated before, it was nothing compared to now. I didn't know much about Mr. Cullen, Alice had said that she believed that he was in his early forties, but she had never seen him.

Apparently, he never visited his wife at work.

"What's this room?" I asked, wanting to distract myself. It was a bit scary, working for two people like Mr. and Mrs. Cullen, especially when one of them would be home almost all the time.

"Ah." Mrs. Cope said when she saw the closed door I was referring to. She had already shown me the guestrooms, master bedroom, the office and the hallway leading to the library, so I didn't know what this last door went to.

Mrs. Cope signaled for me to follow her back to the stairs, away from Mr. Cullen's office. She turned to face me when we were out of hearing distance from the door.

"That was supposed to be the nursery" she explained, her voice low. "Mr. and Mrs. Cullen were trying to get pregnant for a year when they first moved here, but eventually they found out that Mrs. Cullen can't have children." she shook her head in a sad manner, "It was a hard blow for the both of them, and I don't think Mrs. Cullen ever really got over it. They haven't been the same since, and I advice you to not mention anything that could upset her, that's why I'm telling you this. Mrs. Cullen can be difficult if you don't know how to handle her."

I swallowed hard, once again doubting if I should really do this.

Mrs. Cope noticed my hesitation. "Don't worry, Miss Swan, as long as you treat her with respect, she'll do the same to you." she said, repeating what Alice had told me before.

An hour later, I said goodbye to Mrs. Cope at the door. She would be back the next day since Mr. and Mrs. Cullen wanted to do something special for her after all the years she had worked for them.

I felt fairly confident now, Mrs. Cope had been very patient with me and shown me exactly what needed to be done.

It was now 12:10, so I figured that I should start with the food. Mrs. Cope had suggested chicken for today, and she'd already put some out to defrost. I got to work on that, deciding to cook my signature dish of chicken curry and pasta.

I wanted to be sure that lunch was finished at exactly 13:00 as Mrs. Cope had ordered, so I worked quickly, meanwhile wondering what it would be like meeting Mr. Cullen. I hoped that he would be less intimidating than what Alice had told me about Tanya, but what Mrs. Cope had said hadn't really put my worries at ease.

I turned on the radio, wanting some music while I cooked. I always worked better with music around me, and I was pleased when I heard the familiar tune of Kings of Leon's 'Sex on Fire' playing.

Apparently I was a bit quicker that necessary, it was still 20 minutes until I had to finished, so while the pasta was boiling I took the opportunity to dance around a bit, at the same time opening drawers and cupboards to familiarize myself with the kitchen.

I was so absorbed in my dancing and the music that I didn't notice the man standing behind me until I slammed right in to him.

Large hands grasped my shoulders before I could fall down, and I let out a surprised shriek as I tried to regain my balance.

Then I looked up, still breathless, into a pair of piercing green eyes, set in the most beautiful face I had ever seen in my entire life.

Strong, squared jaw, sculptured cheekbones, straight nose and a glorious mess of bronze hair filled my vision. The man looked like a Greek god, or like every fantasy I had ever had personified.

_Gorgeous…_

His lips were turned up in an amused, crooked smile as he stared down on me.

"Hello there" the man said in a wonderful, velvet voice, "and who might you be?"

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First of all, to all of you who are waiting for the epilogue to Binary Star: It's coming! I promise, I have just suffered from a bad case of writersblock (which disappeared as soon as I thought of this story)

It'll be a short story, but intense! I spent the entire day lying by the pool writing this, and got quite a tan, haha.

**Reviews are like Robert Pattinson with a stubble.. Aaahh... (girls, you know what I mean..)**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: S. Meyer owns everything Twilight. **

**Thanks to everyone who has faved, alerted and especially reviewed this story! I read & love every single word.**

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**Chapter two**

I stared, wide eyed, at the man standing in front of me. I had never seen anyone like him, and I seemed to have forgotten how to use words.

This couldn't be Mr. Cullen, could it? He looked young, or at least not forty, as Alice had said he was. Maybe it was his smile that made him look younger, but I doubted he was older than 37 at the most.

Mr. Cullen raised his eyebrows expectantly, and I realized that I hadn't answered his question yet.

"I'm Isabella Swan, sir, your new housekeeper. I am so sorry, I didn't mean to tackle you like that. I didn't hear you come in because of the music." I rambled.

_Breathe, Bella._

"No harm done, and it's me who should be apologizing. I scared you." he said, still smiling a jaw dropping smile at me.

I bit down on my lip. I always got nervous around attractive men, and Mr. Cullen was no exception. Besides, he was probably the most gorgeous man on the planet, so I had reason enough to be nervous. I thought about Alice, and how she always complained that all the 'good men' were taken. She hadn't known how right she was…

"I'm fine, sir, I was just surprised to see you." I murmured, looking away from his intense gaze.

"I could see that" he chuckled, and the sound was the single most beautiful thing I had ever heard. I could help but to smile back at him.

He held out his hand to me. "I'm Edward Cullen"

I took his outstretched hand, and then almost gasped as I felt a shock of electricity go through me at his touch. It felt strange, but good, somehow.

When I looked up, I saw that Mr. Cullen had a perplexed expression on his face as he watched our joined hands. Then he regained his composure.

"You're younger than I thought" he said, and I felt slightly annoyed. I wasn't that young, I was turning 23 in September. How old did he thought I would be?

He must have seen my confused expression, because he quickly added, "I just thought that since you are replacing Mrs. Cope, you'd be older. Are you still in school?"

"No, sir, I just finished my last year. I'm 22." I said, very conscious of the fact that he hadn't let go of my hand yet.

Mr. Cullen seemed to realize that just then, and quickly released it and took a step back.

"I see, so are you just here for the summer then?"

Didn't he know?

As if he could read my mind, or more likely my face, he continued, "Tanya hasn't told me much, just that she found a replacement for Mrs. Cope."

I wondered briefly why Mrs. Cullen wouldn't have told her husband about something like that, but didn't dwell on it. They were both busy people, it had probably slipped her mind.

After all, me working here wasn't as big a deal for them as it was for me.

"Yes, sir, I'm here until the end of august" I said, glad that my voice was reasonably steady.

Mr. Cullen nodded. "And where are you off to then?"

"I'm moving to New York with a friend of mine. I have an internship at a publishing firm there." I couldn't believe that I was standing there, having a conversation with this God-like man.

_Don't stare, Bella…_

"You don't have to call me 'sir', Miss Swan. It makes me feel even older than my 35 years" he winked at me, and my mouth almost fell open. Holy cow, how did he do that? With just one wink he made my knees feel weak, and I had to concentrate to keep my breathing even.

"Okay then, Mr. Cullen" I smiled slightly, still nervous as he kept watching me with those piercing eyes.

For a moment, we were both silent. The atmosphere in the kitchen had changed, and I was suddenly were aware of how close he was standing, and how I could feel his warm breath on my face.

My own brown eyes were locked with his, and I could almost hear my heart pounding faster in my chest as the seconds ticked by.

And then the strange spell was broken, as the pasta water boiled all of a sudden boiled over, spluttering and sizzling on the hot stove.

"Fuck!" I called, and then slapped a hand over my mouth as I realized the word that had just escaped.

I did not just curse in front of my new boss, did I?

Mr. Cullen's eyes widened momentarily but instead of scolding me, he smiled and then laughed again.

"Don't worry, Miss Swan. I curse all the time, it's a nasty habit of mine but I can't seem to shake it" he said as he walked over to the stove and turned the heat down.

I grabbed a towel and began wiping the water away. "Tell me about it…" I mumbled, embarrassed over my spontaneous outburst.

I finished cleaning up while Mr. Cullen leaned against the counter. I could feel his eyes on me, and it made me even more clumsy than usual.

"So, Miss Swan, what's for dinner?"

I looked up, meeting his curious and expectant gaze.

"Chicken curry, Mr. Cullen" I said, and then added, "I hope that's okay with you?"

"Oh absolutely, sounds great."

I turned back to my cooking, and heard the sound of a cupboard being opened and then the clatter of plates being brought out.

"Would you like to have lunch, Miss Swan?" he asked, and I almost dropped the pan I was holding.

"With you?" I asked stupidly before I could stop myself. Mrs. Cope hadn't said anything about having lunch with Mr. Cullen; she had told me that she always ate in the room she'd shown me before. Why would he want me to join him?

Mr. Cullen chuckled, "Well, yes, if you would like to, that is?"

"Of course!" the words were out of my mouth before I had the time to consider what I was saying yes to. But I guess if he wanted to spend his lunch time with me, who was I to object?

_He's married. _A small voice in the back of my head reminded me.

_Oh, shut up! _My less noble side countered. It's not a crime just look, right?

I finished the food while Mr. Cullen set the table. I would have done it, but he insisted that he was more than capable, giving me one of those beautiful smiles as he pulled out glasses from another cupboard.

"So, tell me about yourself?" Mr. Cullen asked when we were both seated and had started on the food.

I squirmed a little in my seat, not sure what there was to tell about me that would be of any interest to a man like him. I decided to give him the short version of my life so far.

"Well, I have lived with my best friend, Alice, since my parents passed away in an accident five years ago." I began, and for a second it looked like his hand was about to reach out to touch mine. Then he picked up his glass instead, so I guessed I had just imagined it.

"I'm sorry to hear that." Mr. Cullen said, and I could see in his eyes that he really meant it. "Do you have any brothers or sisters?"

"No, I'm an only child, but Alice has been like a sister to me since we met when we were 9." I smiled. I don't know what I would have done without her. She was like my other half.

We kept up a conversation all through our dinner, and the more I spoke, the less nervous I got. Turned out, Mr. Cullen shared my interest in literature, and we also discovered that we liked the same kind of music.

"I must say, Mr. Cullen, I would never have figured you to be an ABBA fan." I said as I was putting the dishes away. He had complimented me on my cooking, and I was relieved that I had passed the test.

Mr. Cullen laughed, and helped me rinse of the plates after ignoring my attempts to do it myself. "I'm a closet ABBA fan, so you can't tell anyone."

I smirked, "Your secret is safe with me."

I was amazed over how much easier it was to talk now. As long as I kept my eyes away from the distraction of his face, I was actually able to stay focused on what he was saying.

"Thank you for your company, Miss Swan. I'm heading back to my study, I trust you know what to do now?" he said after the kitchen was cleaned up.

"Yes, Mr. Cullen." I nodded. I tried to not be disappointed that he was leaving, but failed miserable.

_**Married**__! _Both my noble and not so noble side yelled at me. _Alright, alright, shut up. _

He left the room, and I stood leaning by the counter for a moment, thinking over what had just happened. I was attracted to my boss, there was no point in denying it. Besides his obvious good looks, he was also very intellectual, funny and seemed to be quite easy going about most aspects of life. I was fairly certain, after spending an hour with him, that Mrs. Cullen was most likely the one in charge of the house and garden. It didn't seem to me that Mr. Cullen would be the kind of man to care whether the bushes were trimmed in a straight 90 degree angle, or if the extravagant sofa cushions matched the Persian rug.

Not that we had gone into details about our private lives, I wasn't the kind of person to spill all my deepest, darkest secrets to a stranger –especially if said stranger was my boss–, but you could learn a lot about a person through small talk, if you know what to look for.

But I was a bit surprised that he had been rather open with me, I hadn't expected anything like that after what Mrs. Cope told me about him. She had made it seem like he was much more reserved, and not that interested in others company most of the time.

_Maybe he thought I was interesting… _

I banished that thought as soon as it appeared. There was most defiantly nothing interesting about me, I was no one special. But Mr. Cullen on the other hand, he was without a doubt the most fascinating person I had met. What he had told me about the law firm he had started straight out of college, his many side projects to support different charities and his love for children, I was sure that as far as men go, Mr. Cullen was the ideal.

I had hidden my surprise when he told me about the children's hospital he part-owned, not sure how to react as he was the one to bring the 'child subject' up. Of course, he didn't know that Mrs. Cope had told me about his and Mrs. Cullen's situation. He had no idea that I knew about their personal tragedy, and I wasn't about to mention it.

The rest of the day I spent doing all the cleaning and washing as instructed by Mrs. Cope. None of them involved anything on the second floor, and since Mr. Cullen didn't come back down, I didn't see him again. I didn't get lost the huge house, do my great surprise, but I did have a minor argument with the dishwasher before I figured out how to turn it on.

At 5:30 I went to retrieve my things in the back room, changing into my own clothes before heading back out. I wasn't sure what I would do now, Mrs. Cope had said that my workday ended now, but I felt like I wanted to tell Mr. Cullen that I was leaving. It was probably my less noble side who wanted another look at him, but I decided to head upstairs.

If his door was open, I would say goodbye and leave, and if it wasn't… well then I would simply leave. I hadn't forgotten Mrs. Copes' warning about disturbing him in his office.

I climbed the stairs slowly, trying to find the courage to face him again. I realized that me nervousness was completely unnecessary, since I was just their housekeeper and he was my married boss. It was just my own silly feelings that were toying with my mind. I found him attractive, so what? It wasn't like I would have had a shot with him even if he wasn't married; he was both much older than me and also fiercely superior.

I was just like a little school girl with a crush on her teacher, how pathetic.

_Crush? _My subconscious echoed, but I ignored her.

Alright, Bella, I told myself as I reached the second floor, get real and get over yourself, okay?

_Fine…_

By now I was sure that his door would be closed. After all, why would it be open? Mrs. Cope had told me that he always kept it closed, right?

My heart gave a subtle squeeze as I saw that it was, in fact, open.

_Maybe he wanted to be able to hear it if you broke something. _

I rolled my eyes at my inner pessimist, and started down the hall to his office. I ignored the fact that I was shaking and that my palms suddenly felt too warm, focusing on the task of putting one foot in front of the other. I was so freaking ridiculous; sure, I'd never been especially confident around men, but this was insane.

Pausing outside of the office, I swallowed hard and glanced inside.

The room was nothing like the rest of the house. Instead of bright colors and perfectly organized furniture's, Mr. Cullen's office had a much warmer feel to it than the other rooms. Soft, classical music reached my ears, and I recognized it to be Thomas Tallis piece 'Fantasia on a theme'.

The walls had a dark, green color, the curtains were deep red, and along the room were shelves and bookcases in rich, dark wood. There were a number of paintings on the walls, and I could see that there was a glass door in the far corner, leading to a balcony visible through the tall windows.

The evening sun shone in through the glass, and as my eyes fell on the man sitting behind a large, mahogany desk in the far left corner, I couldn't stop myself from staring at him.

The light made the beautiful red streaks in his hair even more prominent, and his skin seemed to almost glitter in the sunshine. He truly was a glorious sight to behold.

I didn't want to be caught standing in the doorway, staring at him, so I knocked softly on the open door to make my presence known.

Mr. Cullen looked up instantly, and I couldn't help the smile that spread on my face when I met his gaze. I'd never wanted to have photographic memory more than in that second…

"Come on in" he said, gesturing for me to enter. "I wanted to show you something."

I walked, surprised, into the room and then stopped hesitantly in front of his desk. This was not what I had been expecting; I'd just wanted to let him know I was leaving.

He rose from his very comfortable looking chair, and strolled around the desk. When he passed me, his right hand touched the back of mine for the briefest instant. I felt the same, strange surge of electricity, and wondered if maybe he had done it on purpose. Did that mean that he felt it too?

Mr. Cullen walked over to the large bookcase to my left, and trailed his fingers over the back of the books, as if he was searching for a specific one.

"Ah" he said, and pulled out a much abused book. "You said you hadn't read it yet, so I figured I'd lend you this."

He handed me the book, and I immediately recognized it. But it looked old, very, very old... My eyes widened; it couldn't be, could it?

"Is this a first edition?" I asked, stunned, as I admired the copy of Agatha Christie's 'Murder one the Orient Express' I held in my hand.

Mr. Cullen smiled, his eyes held some emotion I couldn't decipher as he watched me. "It might be." he said nonchalantly, and I got the impression that he didn't want to make a big deal out of it.

"Mr. Cullen, I can't possibly accept this, it's too much!" I exclaimed, overwhelmed by his generosity. It must be worth a fortune; there was no way I could take it. I didn't understand how he could even offer to lend it to me. What if I lost it? I would owe him every cent I'd ever make for the rest of my life.

"Yes, you can. Believe me, Miss Swan, I've read it too many times to count." he said, and then with an amused expression he added; "And I must admit that Poirot solves the case before I do every single time."

I laughed, feeling slightly better as his good humor rubbed off on me. "Don't go spoiling the ending for me! I didn't know he would solve it."

"Well, now you do." he winked at me.

I opened the cover slowly, handling the delicate book with care. "Thank you, Mr. Cullen. I really appreciate it." I said, smiling.

He walked over so that he stood right beside me, and I could feel his arm against mine as he stretched his hand out to flip a page in the book. I tried to remember how to breathe, but his proximity made it very difficult. Could he hear my heart pounding? It seemed loud enough to me.

"You see this text here?" he asked.

"_To M.E.L.M. Arpachiyah, 1933" _I read, and my voice was shaking badly. I felt his breath hit my cheek when he leaned in closer, and bit down on my lip to fight the absurd instinct to turn my head to the side and kiss him.

_God damnit, Bella, get it together! _

"M.E.L.M stands for Max Edgar Lucien Mallowan, he was Agatha's second husband." he dropped his hand, and when doing so, he briefly touched my arm again. My insides were at total chaos, I had never felt such strong pull to anyone, ever. All I could think about was that I wanted him to touch me again, and that I wanted to hear him speak and laugh and to just look at him. Such overwhelming emotions, and I had no idea how to handle them. I wasn't used to this kind of thing; I'd never been in love or felt this way for anyone. And now I had to go obsess over a man I could never have? Great, really great…

"I didn't know that." I said, staring at the page to avoid meeting his gaze. I had to get this under control, but I knew I couldn't as long as I was in his presence.

"She dedicated four books to him, including her last one; Postern of Fate." he told me, and went over to the bookcase again. A strange sense of loss came over me as he walked away, and I shook my head slightly to rid myself of all my crazy emotions.

He returned and stood before me with another book in his hands, this one not as worn as the one I was holding.

"It's not nearly as good as her other work, but it's a must read simply because it's her." he said, turning the book over and reading the back. "But perhaps I should let you finish with that one before I force you to read anything else."

I turned a page over in the book, but my hands were still shaking and I accidentally cut my finger on the paper.

"Shit" I called, and this time I couldn't slap a hand over my mouth as I was holding the book in one hand and bleeding on the other.

Mr. Cullen immediately put his book down and took my hand in his, sending sparks all through my body at the contact with his soft skin.

The cut wasn't deep, but a few drops of blood had already escaped. I looked away to the windows as he pulled out a handkerchief from his pocket –I couldn't help but to be surprised that he had one, did people still carry handkerchiefs? – and then he wrapped it around my finger. I always got squeamish around blood, but there was no need to tell him that.

"You're okay, the bleeding will stop soon." he still held my hand in his, and I glanced up at him as he stood before me. He was watching me intently, his green eyes fixed on my face.

Then, suddenly, the atmosphere that I had felt in the kitchen was there again, and the need to reach out and touch him flared even stronger than before. My eyes trailed down from his eyes and to his mouth, taking in every inch of his luscious lips as I bit down on mine, trying to control my craving to kiss him.

And then the spell was once again broken, but this time it wasn't boiling water that interrupted our bizarre moment, but a loud, fuming female voice.

"What the fuck is going on here?"

My eyes darted to door, where an angry, yet beautiful, woman stood, watching us. Mr. Cullen's hand dropped from mine instantly, and he backed away.

"Erm, Miss. Swan" he said, and then cleared his throat before he continued, "This is my wife, Tanya."

_Oh shit…_

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	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: S. Meyer owns everything Twilight.**

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**Chapter three**

Mrs. Cullen kept glaring at me, and I felt my knees shake as I looked into her furious eyes. I swallowed hard and tried to put on a friendly smile. I doubt that I managed to pull it off though, it probably just looked like I was in pain.

She was really beautiful, even more so than I had remembered from the one time I had seen her when I went to visit Alice at the store. I only saw her from a distance, but with her long, strawberry blond hair and perfect complexion, she had the kind of beauty that one noticed from far, far away. Of course she was dressed impeccably well, wearing a dark green dress that ended just above her knees, black pumps and gold jewelry. I noticed her very expensive looking engagement ring on her left hand, but quickly tore my eyes away.

"Mrs. Cullen, it's so nice to finally meet you." I said, extending a hand to her. I didn't think about the fact that my hand was more or less covered with Mr. Cullen's now bloodstained handkerchief.

"Keep your hand to yourself. I don't want to get blood on my clothes, thank you very much." she snapped, taking a step back as if she thought just being in proximity to me would put a stain on her perfect exterior.

I cringed, and quickly let my hand fall. This was not how I had hoped that my first encounter with Mrs. Cullen would go. Alice had warned me about doing something to put her off, and I had managed that task before I had even spoken to her.

Great way to make a good first impression, really...

"Tanya." Mr. Cullen's tone held some kind of warning. His expression was unreadable, and his demeanor now was such a transformation from the man who had stood before me two minutes ago, discussing books the loved with an excited gleam in his green eyes.

"Leave us." Mrs. Cullen said in a clipped tone. For a second I thought that she was speaking to me, but then I realized that her eyes were fixed on her husband. She still looked furious, and held her arms crossed over her chest.

"Tanya, don't -"

"I said, leave us, Edward."

Mr. Cullen looked cautiously from his wife to me. I didn't know if he was unwilling to argue with her or if he simply knew that it would be a lost cause, but he walked away without another word.

Mrs. Cullen followed him to the door, and they had some kind of silent exchange before she closed the door on him. Then she turned and fixed her gaze on me, and it felt like she was seizing me up.

If the atmosphere between me and Mr. Cullen had been warm and comfortable before, it was now ice cold and strained. I didn't dare to speak, or even move as she leaned against a bookshelf, her eyes intend on my face.

"So, Miss Swan, I see that you had already acquainted yourself with my husband." she said, and I was surprised by how calm and composed she sounded. For some reason, her tone and manner made my stomach turn with unease.

Before I could speak, she continued; "I'm going to make myself very clear, so that there won't be any misunderstanding between you and me."

She walked toward me, and the way she moved reminded me of a lion, stalking its prey, preparing to launch herself at her chosen victim.

"I know you are very young, and probably still inexperienced when it comes to these kind of things, so I am going to go easy on you this time." I don't think I imagined her condescending tone; she spoke to me as if I was a small child. Then her face hardened, and her voice became deadly.

"Keep. Your. Filthy. Little. Hands. Off. My. Husband." she snarled, pronouncing each word separately.

I was speechless, and also terrified of this woman. What had I gotten myself into? She was watching me with narrowed eyes, waiting for me to respond. She would probably attack me if I made any sudden movement; I felt like I was the innocent animal, about to get slaughtered by the ravenous lion.

"Do we understand each other?" she asked sharply.

I bit down on my lip, nodding slowly. "Yes, Mrs. Cullen." I managed to get out.

In a split second, her expression changed. She looked almost friendly, except for that lethal gleam in her eyes. Before I realized what was happening, she had reached her hand out and snapped the book Mr. Cullen had given me from my hand.

"Good, Miss Swan." she said and smiled a not at all convincing smile, looking down at the book she had taken from me. "We'll see you tomorrow. I trust you know your way out." She put emphasis on the word 'we', as if to make it very clear that she would also be there. Probably watching my every step…

"Yes, Mrs. Cullen." I said again in a trembling voice.

She stepped aside to let me pass. I forced my legs to move forward, though it didn't feel good to turn my back on her.

_Don't be silly, she's not gonna attack you. Just get the hell out of there. _

"Oh, Miss Swan?" she called when I had reached the door, a hand on the doorknob.

_Damn it! _I thought. _Should I run for it?_

I decided against it, turning to face her again.

"Yes?" _Stupid voice, stop shaking!_

Her eyes bored into mine, and the threat was clear in her voice as she spoke.

"You do not want to get on my bad side. I assure you that I can make life very difficult for you if I so wish."

_I don't doubt that. _

I didn't know how to answer, so instead I nodded again, opened the door and fled through it. I drew in a sigh of relief when I entered the hallway and almost ran for the stairs.

In my peripheral vision I saw Mr. Cullen emerge from a door into the corridor to my right, but I didn't stop. I descended the stairs as quickly I could without tripping. I heard him call my name but ignored it, I was already on the bottom floor and grabbed my bag from where it lay by the foot of the staircase and darted for the front door without looking back.

I slammed the door behind me and in my haste I almost ran into the tall, muscular man standing on the porch. I caught myself before I could collide with someone for the second time that day, and gazed up into a pair of deep blue eyes.

"Wooa!" the man exclaimed, "where's the fire?"

I exhaled in a gust, the tension running off me as the man watched me with a warm smile on his lips.

"Sorry. I'm on the run from the staff eating lion upstairs." I said before I could stop myself. Then my eyes widened in shock as I became conscious of what I had just said.

"Fuck! I didn't mean that!" I stuttered, and then realized that I had just cursed again. "Shit! What's wrong with me today? I've apparently misplaced my verbal filter, I'm so sorry."

The man was looking at me with an amused expression, biting his lip as if to keep from laughing at me.

"I've always liked people who speak before they think, that way you can be sure to find out what's really on their minds." he said, clearly enjoying the situation.

"I'm Jasper Whitlock." he continued and held out a tanned, large hand to me. I took it, noticing that he in fact was really tanned all over his well-built body. Wearing only a white, grass stained t-shirt and cut off jeans, with his dark blond hair falling artfully down his forehead and a beautiful, white grin on his attractive face, Jasper Whitlock looked like a male model. A very, very hot male model, that is.

"Bella Swan" I said, meanwhile wondering if this house was some kind of mekka for gorgeous men.

Probably shouldn't tell Alice about that, she'd set up a camp on the front lawn.

"So I'll take it that the lion you were referring to is Mrs. Cullen?" Jasper asked, winking at me.

I blushed "Well, I…"

"Don't worry, I totally agree with you. After all the timed she has complained to me or Emmett about how the roses aren't red enough or that the bushes needs trimming three times a day, I've come to think of her to be more like a piraya than an actual human." Jasper said, and then added; "She's a bitch." In a way that suggested that explained it all.

"That pretty much sums it up" I mumbled, shivering slightly as I remembered her murderous glare.

"So you must be the new Mrs. Cope then?" Jasper asked.

I laughed. "Yeah, I guess I am, though I highly doubt that Mrs. Cullen ever threatened to ruin Mrs. Cope's life if she ever looked at her husband again."

It was easier to think about what had happened out here. Jasper seemed to have a calming effect on me, and suddenly my encounter with Mrs. Cullen didn't feel quite as scary.

"She did _what?_" Jasper looked shocked.

"Apparently, she wanted me to… What was it? Oh right; "Keep my filthy little hands off her husband." I explained.

Jasper gave a low, impressed whistle "Wow, your first day and you've already made a play for Mr. Cullen?" he teased.

I rolled my eyes "It wasn't like that. I gave myself a paper cut, and she walked in on us when he was examining the wound." I said, shrugging my shoulders. "She overreacted."

"Yeah, I'm not surprised." Jasper said, watching me curiously, "So, you're not after her husband?"

"No." I hoped my voice was convincing. I wasn't sure about anything when it came to Mr. Cullen, just that I had never experienced anything like what I'd felt when our hands had touched. And that I had never met a man more attractive than him, or as interesting… I wasn't about to tell Jasper that, so I just smiled conspiratorially "He's a little too old for me."

That wasn't really a lie, thought I doubt I would ever have given our 12 year age difference a second thought if we had met under other circumstances, and if he had by some miracle been interested in me, of course. I've always felt older than I actually was, and keeping up a conversation with Mr. Cullen hadn't been difficult at all, and I thought he had seemed rather impressed with my wide knowledge about the different topics we had discussed. I had been more of a 'watch the news and read books' girl than a 'party all night and read nothing but the gossip columns' girl for as long as I could remember. It was only when Alice forced me that I left the comfort of my home and went dancing with her and our friends. I liked to go out, but not as much as I enjoyed cozying up in the sofa with a good book and a glass of wine.

Jasper seemed convinced by my little white lie. "Maybe that's for the best. I don't know Mr. Cullen very well since I've only worked here a couple of weeks, but Emmett, the other gardener, says he's almost as cold and unfriendly as his wife." he said, and then looked as if he had just figured something out, "That's probably why he's able to stand her. I would have filed for divorce a long time ago."

I gave him a halfhearted smile, confused by what he had said about Mr. Cullen being unfriendly. To me he had been very welcoming and kind, more so than I had expected. But I guessed that what Jasper was saying went with Mrs. Cope's insinuation that Mr. Cullen wasn't much of a people person.

"So you're done for the day?" Jasper asked, interrupting my reflections.

"Yeah, now I just have to go home and work up the courage to come back tomorrow."

He snickered "I'm sure you'll be fine, Mrs. Cullen isn't home much anyway. Apparently her staff meeting ended early today, otherwise you might just have gotten away with hitting on her husband."

"I didn't hi -" I began, but he held up his hands and grinned at me.

"I'm kidding, I know you didn't." he said with a smirk. "So do you want a ride home?"

"Oh, that's okay. I was gonna take the buss."

"In this heat? You'll be barbequed alive inside a buss, they have terrible AC in this area - believe me, I know.

I bit my lip, I wasn't really looking forward to a half hour long trip on a sweaty, crowded buss when I was already too warm to be comfortable. Going home by car seemed like a much more appealing option, and that way I could also talk to Jasper some more.

"If you're sure that's alright?" I asked hesitantly.

"Of course! I was just gonna have a quick word with the lioness about her precious orchids, and then I'll be right out. I think Emmett is already by the car."

"Oh, okay, I'll wait there then!" I said. Jasper gave me another warm smile before heading inside.

Emmett McCarty was a big, brown haired man with a booming laugh and kind eyes. We hit it off instantly, just like me and Jasper, and spent the entire car ride joking and getting to know each other,

Emmett and Jasper were cousins, and they shared an apartment not too far from where Alice and I lived. Emmett had been working for Mr. and Mrs. Cullen for four years, and he had gotten Jasper a job when the previous gardener had quit. They were both 26, and had big plans of starting their own gardening service as soon as they had made enough money.

They dropped me off with the promise to pick me up the next morning, so I wouldn't have to ask Alice for a ride again or take the dreaded buss to work. I didn't own a car, the old truck that I had gotten for my birthday the same year my parents died had broken down a month after Alice and I had moved here. I had been depending on either taking the buss when I needed to go somewhere or lately hoping that I could get a ride from Alice, who was driving a black Volvo her parents had given her as a graduation present.

I went inside, and after giving Alice the short version about everything that had happened – leaving out the part about how handsome both my co-workers were, just to be safe – I tumbled into bed, exhausted. I fell asleep instantly, dreaming about stalking lions and a certain green eyed man…

"You'll be okay, Bella. Don't sweat it!" Jasper encouraged me as we reached the Cullen mansion the next morning. I was chewing on my lip, glancing nervously at the house and praying that Mrs. Cullen wouldn't be there.

"Dude, how could she not sweat it? It's hot as hell today!" Emmett complained, pulling his blue t-shirt over his head.

_Well hello abs!_I marveled, watching the play of muscles as he moved.

Emmett noticed my stares. "See anything you like, Bells?" he chuckled.

Jasper faked a horrified expression and came to stand between me and Emmett. He glared menacingly at me, but I saw the corners of his mouth twitch.

"Keep your cute little hand off my cousin!" he growled with mock fury.

It took about 3 seconds before we all broke out in hysteric laughter. I had to grab onto the porch railing to keep from falling over, my eyes started to tear from the lack of air but I couldn't stop laughing. It felt so good to laugh, my nerves calmed and stress left my body.

Well, up until I heard someone loudly clear their throat right behind me.

All three of us instantly fell silent. I turned slowly to see Mr. Cullen standing in the doorway, watching us with an annoyed and angry expression. Or rather, he was watching Emmett and Jasper, not me. In fact, he didn't even seem to be aware that I was there at all.

"Whitlock, McCarty, don't you have a job to do?" he spat at them.

I was shocked by how cold and angry his voice was, it was nothing like I had remembered it to be when he had spoken to me yesterday. Was this the side of him that everyone else saw? But even furious, he was so unbelievably beautiful. I noticed how I got almost breathless as I watched him, mesmerized by the mystery that was Edward Cullen.

Emmett and Jasper mumbled goodbye to me and then left. I kept looking at Mr. Cullen, but as soon as the others had walked away, he turned and disappeared into the house. He hadn't even looked at me once.

I stood there, frozen, for several minutes before I snapped out of it. Walking into the house, I wondered desperately what had happened after I had left the previous night.

Looked as if I wasn't the only one who had been told to stay the hell away, but after seeing him again I wasn't so sure that I would be able to.

I rolled my eyes at myself, what difference did it make if I didn't want to keep my hands off him, when he obviously didn't even want to recognize that I existed?

I closed the door behind me, and just as I turned around to head down the hall, strong arm were suddenly on either side of me, forcing me to press back against the door.

Gasping in shock, I stared up into green, hungry eyes…

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	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: S. Meyer owns everything Twilight.**

**Okay. You may all throw rocks at me. I promise I won't even try to dodge them. 1½ months? I'm ashamed of myself, I really am. I'll save the rest of the apologizes though, and let you guys read instead!**

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**Chapter four**

He was standing so close… I could feel his warm breath on my face as I stood frozen pressed up against the door. On instinct I wanted to lean forward and touch my lips against his, but there was something in his eyes that warned me off. It was… rage? No, not rage, but he didn't look happy.

But though his behaviour was almost hostile, the same spark was still there. I could feel my heart beating faster and my breathing became erratic as I stared into his eyes. He didn't speak, and the tension in his arms didn't decrease.

"M- Mr. Cullen." I stuttered, trying to regain my focus. What was going on? Had I done something wrong that made him act like this? Maybe it was the incident with Tanya last night?

Mr. Cullen leaned closer, his eyes a darker shade of green then usual. "Don't flirt with the staff, Miss Swan." he almost growled, and my eyes widened in shock at his words.

"I… I didn't…" I mumbled, confused.

I heard footsteps coming down the stairs, and Mr. Cullen must have heard them too because he pulled back, stepping away from me. I wanted to grab him and pull him to me again, not even caring about the fact that he seemed to be angry with me. The sparks that emanated from his skin was like nothing else I'd ever felt, I craved his touch in ways I had never wanted anything before that moment.

Just as Tanya came into view, Mr. Cullen's face changed, and the intensity in his eyes disappeared.

"Well, if it isn't the little maid." Tanya said acidly, walking to Edward's side. She towered over me, and I knew it wasn't just because she was wearing a pair of blood read killer heals, but she really was much taller than me. I felt so small, and so young, standing in front of this ridiculously good looking couple who were both dressed impeccably well. I, on the other hand, was wearing ripped jeans shorts and a white t-shirt, and my old and worn converse. I wanted to sink through the floor as I watched Tanya put her arm through Edward's, her red fingernails digging into the fabric of his dark blue shirt. She was so obviously marking him, staking her territory, and we all knew it. Edward looked slightly uncomfortable, or maybe it was just my imagination.

"My husband and I are on our way out, we're taking Mrs. Cope out for dinner and we won't be back until late tonight, so make sure you lock up when you leave. I trust you know what needs to be done." Tanya said harshly.

_Wow, I'd really gotten under her skin._

If I hadn't been so terrified of her, and if she hadn't been my boss, it would almost have been comical, the way this strong, self confident woman seemed to fear a little girl like me.

"Of course, Mrs. Cullen. Have a nice day." I said. I met Mr. Cullen's eyes for a short moment, and noticed that they had a hint of what looked like desperation or helplessness in them. That couldn't be true, could it? Mr. Cullen was not the kind of man to be helpless in any situation. I averted my eyes, looking down to the floor instead and then stepping aside to let them pass.

Luck was apparently not on my side that day, because Tanya spoke again before I could escape.

"You know what? I think I forgot my phone upstairs on my nightstand table. Would you be a dear and run up and get it for me?" her tone was sickly sweet, but her eyes stared daggers at me.

"Tanya." Edward said, a warning in his voice. I quickly stepped towards the stairs, almost tripping over my own feet.

"It's not a problem, I'll get it." I said, eager to see her leave. The thought of having the house all to myself for the entire day made the prospect of working much better. I ran up the stairs quickly, and headed straight for the master bedroom.

Reaching Mrs. Cullen's nightstand table, I looked for the phone in all the drawers, behind the table, under it and even under the bed, but came up empty. Thinking she must have put it someplace else and simply forgot, I started downstairs.

Mr and Mrs. Cullen were still in the hallway, speaking in low voices, and it sounded as if they were arguing.

I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but when I heard Mrs. Cullen speak my name, I couldn't help myself. They hadn't seen me since they were standing by the front door, and I was standing in the middle of the staircase, just out of sight.

"You're being ridiculous, Tanya. The girl has done nothing wrong! She's only been here for one day for heavens sake! You can't fire her, I won't allow it."

"Why do you even bother? Since when have you given a fuck about what goes on here except for your in beloved office? I'm surprised you even noticed that Mrs. Cope doesn't work here anymore!"

"Don't give me that shit! You know damn well who makes all the money around here, and you don't ever complain about my work when it allows you to spend five thousand fucking dollars on a purse!"

"You're not the only one contributing to this household, Edward. I own my own store as you very well know."

Mr. Cullen laughed a bitter laugh, "There's more to contributing to a household than money, Tanya. But since you brought it up, who was it that provided you with the resources to buy that store? Who is it that always comes to the rescue whenever business is bad?"

Mrs. Cullen stood there, probably fuming, for a couple of seconds before responding.

"I don't like the way she looks at you." she said, obviously realizing that she couldn't win the money debate. "If I catch her screwing up even a little, she's out of here."

"That's not up to you to decide, Tanya. And after all, I am the one who pays her salary, aren't I?"

"If you won't do anything about it, I'm calling Carlisle and Esmee, I'm sure they'll be on my side." Mrs. Cullen snapped. I could hear the sound of her heals clicking against the wooden floor and then the sound of a door opening and closing.

I drew in a shaky breath, trying to work up the courage to walk the rest of the way downstairs. Figuring I should probably let Tanya know I hadn't found her phone, I took a few hesitant steps, but then paused as Edward came into view.

He was leaning against the wall, hands in his hair, covering his face.

I stood there, watching him for a few minutes. I was unable to move at the sight of him so obviously distressed. I felt a strong need to comfort him in someway, but I knew that I wouldn't be able to. Why would he want my console anyway?

I was sure that he and Mrs. Cullen usually didn't fight like this; after all, they were the perfect couple, weren't they? And then I came along, and something about me rubbed Mrs. Cullen the wrong way. Mr Cullen had just tried to be nice to me, for some reason I couldn't fathom since he –according to everyone else- wasn't usually a nice person.

Eventually, Mr. Cullen untangled his hands from the bronze glory that was his hair, and straightened the cuffs on his dress shirt. I didn't have time to react before his head suddenly snapped in my direction, almost as if he had felt me standing there.

Mortified that I had been caught staring at him in the state he was in, I contemplated running back upstairs and hide. But he kept watching me, his face blank as he stared into my eyes without a word. We stood there in strange silence for a minute, and then I saw his jaw lock, and resolve seemed to form in his expression before my eyes.

"Miss. Swan." he said, voice strained.

I swallowed hard, taken aback by the cold stare he was giving me.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Cullen, but I- I couldn't find Mrs. Cullen's ph-" I began, but he cut me off.

"She has it." he snapped, and then turned on his heal and stalked off towards the front door, shutting it loudly behind him.

The only thing I could think of at that moment was; _what the hell just happened?_

I spent the day cleaning much like the day before, only this time I was accompanied in the kitchen at lunch, by Jasper and Emmett. They both appreciated my cooking, especially Emmett who helped himself to three servings of my patented spaghetti carbonara before leaning back in his chair and unbuttoning the top button of his jeans shorts.

"Aaah, damn, Bella, that was some fine food! I might have to steal you from the Cullen's and have you cooking for me and Jasper instead." he said, patting his stomach with a satisfied grin.

I laughed, "I'd be fine with that, actually. Then I wouldn't have to receive death glares from Mrs. Cullen every time I'm less than 10 feet from her husband."

"Yeah, about that," Jasper said, eyeing me with interest, "How did it go this morning? Mr. Cullen was even more cranky than usual, and that's saying something."

I was once again shocked over how other people saw Mr. Cullen. Sure, I'd just witnessed his less friendly side, but I couldn't imagine that he was like that all the time. He had seemed so nice when we had talked yesterday. I mean he had offered to lend me his cherished, priceless book, for God's sake. What had changed?

"It went fine." I answered, remembering the way he'd almost had me pinned against the wall, with his strong, muscular arms on either side of me, the amazing scent that clung to him, his wonderful, bronze hair…

"Bella? Where'd you just go?" Emmett chuckled, waving a hand before my eyes. I snapped back from my reveries, realizing that I'd probably had a somewhat wistful expression on my face.

I shook my head slightly, smiling apologetically. "Sorry, I'm a bit distracted today."

"Yeah, I can tell. Is it Mr. Cullen's dazzling smile that's gotten you all up in the blue?" Jasper raised an eyebrow, and my mouth almost fell open. How did he know?

"Your eyes got all dreamy when I said his name." Jasper answered my unspoken question, "It was a pretty obvious give away." he shrugged.

Emmett's eyes grew huge, and then he broke out in laughter, causing the water he had just taking into his mouth to splutter all over the kitchen table.

"Ewww, Emmett, that's nasty." Jasper complained, grabbing a tissue and wiping of his cheek where the water had hit him. I did the same with my forehead, inwardly panicking over Jaspers words. Damn it, apparently I had no poker face what so ever.

Emmett had recovered from his laughing fit, and was now gaping at me, "Is that true, Bella? Do you have a crush on Mr. Cullen? That's like… so fucking hot and so inappropriate that it's absolutely brilliant!" he had a wicked gleam in his eyes, as he added, "You know what? We could have so much fun with this! You should totally go for it!"

"Fun?" Jasper asked with a grin, "How do you mean?"

I held up my hands in protest. This had gone way too far.

"Hey! No one is gonna 'go' for anyone, it's not like that at all." I said, straightening my shoulders and trying to look convincing. "I think he's handsome, but that all there is to it, alright?"

Jasper and Emmett exchanged a sceptical glance, so I was sure they hadn't bought it. I sighed, stood up and began collecting their plates.

"Has anything happened between you two, Bella?"

How could he be so dead on every time? I ignored Jaspers question, instead choosing to focus on the task of putting the dishes into the dishwasher.

"Well?" Emmett was the one asking this time, and I could easily hear the curiousness in his voice.

I turned around, hands on my hips and stared them both down, "Don't you have a job to do?" I said, and then realized that I had used the exact same tone and words that Mr. Cullen had had when he spoke to them this morning. Of course, they both remembered, and a hysterical laughing fit followed.

Giving up, I stalked out of the kitchen and went to hide in the laundry room instead.

For the next three days, I was alone in the huge mansion. Except during lunch time, of course, when Emmett and Jasper joined me and ate more food than I had thought was humanly possible. They didn't question me about Mr. Cullen again, but Emmett would sneak in seemingly innocent comments here and there when ever he got the chance.

Mr. Cullen was probably working at the firm, and I didn't allow myself to wonder why he chose to be there instead of working from home like he had done before I got there. Mrs. Cullen was busy with arranging everything for the, according to Alice, highly anticipated fashion week that was taking place in New York, starting that weekend.

I didn't mind working there alone; after all, it was better than having Mrs. Cullen breathing down my neck every second of the day. I couldn't deny that I missed seeing Mr. Cullen though, but I kept that thought as far away from me as possible.

When Friday evening came along, Jasper and Emmett gave me a ride home as usual. They promised to come over later and have dinner with Alice and me, looking extremely eager to do so when I mentioned the word 'steak'.

I was happy that the weekend was finally here, but sad that Alice was going away to New York with Tanya the following morning. I had been looking forward to some girl time, since we hadn't been able to talk much during the week. Alice had been over her elbows in work, eager to show Mrs. Cullen what she could do and that she was competent enough to get to go Fashion Week with her.

"Thanks for the food, it was excellent as always, Bella!" Emmett hugged me goodbye as we all stood in the doorway of mine and Alice's apartment, just having finished a very eventful game of Monopoly.

The evening had been great, we'd all laughed and talked and eaten way too much dessert, and I hadn't missed the glances that Alice and Jasper exchanged all through the night. They seemed very comfortable together, always smiling as soon as their eyes met. I was sure it wasn't a coincidence that Alice managed to sit next to Jasper both at the dining table and in the sofa when we'd moved into the living room after dinner.

"Yeah, and the company was wonderful as well." Jasper said, smiling at Alice.

I rolled my eyes and chuckled slightly, "Thank you guys, it was great having you here, we should do this more often!"

"Absolutely." Alice said, her eyes locked with Jaspers.

Needless to say, Alice and I spent the rest of the night discussing my co-worker's absolute 'wonderfulness', as Alice put it. I tried to remind her that she had an early start the next morning, and should probably try and get some sleep, but she waved me off and told me that there was no way she could sleep on her 'Jasper high'. I just listened after that, and threw in a few 'Mmm' and 'Aaa' where needed, trying not to encourage her to stay up the entire night.

She fell asleep eventually, and when I woke up around 11 the next morning, she was gone. She'd left a note on the kitchen table, asking me to text her Jasper's phone number so that she could call him and ask him out for a date when she got back on Tuesday.

I laughed while reading, Alice was not the kind of girl to sit home and wait for a boy to call her. No, she always went after what she wanted. I wished I could be more like her sometimes.

Searching through my bag, I realized that my phone wasn't in there. After a few minutes of panicking, I remembered that I had left it in the backroom at the Cullen's house the day before. I'd put it on the table when I stuffed my work clothes back into my bag at the end of the day, and obviously I'd never repacked it.

I sighed, knowing I'd have to go over there. I needed my phone in case something happened to Alice, or to me for that matter.

50 minutes later I got off the bus, shivering as I felt the cold wind sweep over my exposed legs and arms. The temperature had dropped noticeably since I'd left my apartment, and as I looked up towards the dark sky, I groaned, realizing that there would probably be a storm later.

The walk to the Cullen's house was much longer than I had thought, and I got colder and colder with every step I took. I cursed myself for forgetting to ask Alice to leave her car keys, or for not simply calling Jasper or Emmett and ask them to drive me.

I arrived at the house 30 minutes later, shaking with cold and soaking wet. The rain was pouring down now, and the wind had picked up in strength. Not sure if Mr. Cullen would be home or if he had followed his wife to New York, I knocked first instead of using my key. When no one answered the door after my third knock, I took out my key and let myself in.

The house was dark inside, but so much warmer than the freezing cold outside that the temperature change almost hurt. I pulled of my wet shoes, not wanting to soil the floors I had cleaned so thoroughly the day before.

I figured that Mr. Cullen wasn't home, remembering that both cars had been gone from the driveway. Still shaking, I made my way to the back room and saw my phone lying on the table. After grabbing it, I looked around for some clothes that I could change in to. I found a pair of jeans that I had left there and a sweatshirt that Emmett had forgotten in the kitchen the previous day.

The idea of a warm shower snaked into my mind, and I chewed on my lip as I considered it. If I waited, took a shower and dressed in dry clothes, maybe the storm would pass? Or I could get dressed, still be freezing and head out in the rain just to be soaked through again in less than 10 seconds.

_Shower it is._

I went into the laundry room, undressed and threw my wet clothes into the dryer, and then I snatched a huge, blue towel off a shelf and draped it around me.

I tiptoed through the house, listening for any sound to indicate that someone was home.

Satisfied that there were no sounds to be heard, I stepped into the bathroom on the first floor and dropped the towel on the floor, then quickly got into the shower, turning the hot water on.

Nothing had ever felt as good as that shower, I was sure of it. I took my time, enjoying the feeling of the water warming my skin, I closed my eyes and let myself drift for a moment, not thinking about the fact that I would have to get out in the wet and cold again all too soon.

When I was warm all the way through, I shut off the water and got out of the shower, picking up my towel from the floor.

Everything would have been fine if I hadn't chosen that moment to lose my balance on the wet floor, and then fall helplessly on my behind, knocking my head into the wall.

"Ouch!" I cried, reaching up to rub the back of my head. It had been a hard blow, and my eyes grew wide as I brought my hand before my eyes again and saw that there was now blood on it.

"Shit, shit, shit!" I chanted, focusing on not passing out at the sight of my blood stained hand.

I know everyone suffers from bad luck from time to time, but I had always had a feeling that I'd gotten more than my fair share of it through out my life.

And in that moment, I knew that I'd been right.

"Hello?" I head a voice call.

I froze, eyes locked on the closed door. _Oh God, no! Don't do this to me, please don't!_

"Is there anyone here?" the voice came closer, and of course I knew to whom it belonged. I grabbed the towel I had dropped when I fell, and draped it around me as I saw the door handle being pushed down.

_Kill me now, please?_

Of course, no one granted my wish. The door opened, and I was met by a shirtless, dripping wet Mr. Cullen standing in the doorway, looking at me with wide eyes.

We were both quiet at first, my eyes trailed from his chocked expression and down to his firm, muscular upper body. I might have licked my lips at the sight.

I didn't miss how his eyes swept over my naked legs before snapping back to my face. I pulled the towel closer, not wanting to give him a peek show on top of everything else.

Mr. Cullen cleared his throat and lifted one eyebrow, "Miss Swan, is there any particular reason to why you're lying here on my bathroom floor today?"

* * *

**Reviews are like a smiling Rob :) A.k.a the best thing in the world.**

**I'm sorry it took me so long, but I moved to L.A as some of you know, and I've been so busy with getting settled in and starting school that I haven't had time to write. Plus my inspiration left me when we were flying somwhere over London. **

**I hope you're still with me? Please? Am I forgiven, despite the terrible cliffhanger I left you with? I'll be updating more frequently from now on, I promise! The best way to help me write is to nag, so please be pushy and yell at me and I'll work even faster, lol. **

**Oh, this story got like 50 new faves in one day a while back, any idea how that happened? :)**

**Love you all!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: S. Meyer owns everything Twilight.**

**Lookie! An update, and it only took me two weeks this time! I have found my writing place, so it'll be easier in the future. Where? Well, it's right beside our pool, sitting in the sunshine with music in my ears. It's perfect. **

**So, here's chapter five! Bring out your flashlights/candles and start reading! We get to hear what's going on in Mr. Cullens pretty little head as well..**

* * *

**Chapter five**

Mr. Cullen placed a cup of coffee in front of me and then sat down on the opposite side of the kitchen table. I fidgeted with my sleeves, looking down on my hands to avoid meeting his eyes.

I cursed myself again for my stupidity. What had I been thinking, taking a shower in my employer's house without permission? Why the hell had I even let myself in to the house in the first place?

"So, Miss Swan." Mr. Cullen began, and I was certain that he was going to tell me that I was fired. It was no less than I deserved after what I had done. Besides, Mrs. Cullen had said that if I were to screw up even a little, I'd be out the door in a heartbeat.

And well, I believed that this qualified as a major screw up.

I looked up from my hands and met his curious gaze, noting with relief that he didn't seem angry.

"You don't have to look so scared, I'm not going to start yelling at you, I promise." he said, a faint smile on his lips. There was something else there, something in his eyes that I couldn't quite decipher. Was it nervousness? No, it couldn't be, could it? My mind must be playing tricks with me again.

"I'm really sorry Mr. Cullen," I began, hoping he could hear the sincerity in my voice. I told him about how I realized I'd forgotten my phone at their house the previous day, and how I'd gotten soaked and freezing when the rain had started coming down on my way here.

"I shouldn't have gone inside, but I was worried that I wouldn't able to get in touch with anyone if something were to happen. My roommate is out of town and I didn't want her to worry if I didn't pick up when she called." I rambled, desperate to try and explain myself.

"Hey, calm down." Mr. Cullen said, and then surprised both of us by placing his hand on top of mine on the table. The familiar electric current surged from his touch, and we both stared at our hands for a few seconds before he pulled away.

The absence that followed when his hand was gone was worse than the other times, I instinctually wanted to reach out and take his hand in mine, just so I could feel that amazing sensation of warmth again.

"I'm sorry." Mr. Cullen said, clearing his throat. He rose from his chair, "I'm gonna go change out of these clothes, please help yourself to anything you want while I'm gone."

I nodded, realizing he must be cold in his wet clothes. From the look of it, he'd been out running when the storm had hit. His hair was a darker shade of bronze, and it clung to his forehead in the most gorgeous way. The grey t-shirt he'd thrown on was also wet, and through it I could make out his perfectly toned chest and abs, which I had gotten a good glimpse of before when I was lying on the bathroom floor. I really tried not to stare, but it was rather hopeless.

He turned and walked out of the kitchen, leaving me with an eerie sense of loss as I watched him disappear. Why did I feel like this? It was more than some silly crush, I knew that now. I felt a connection to him, and maybe I was naïve, but I couldn't help to think that maybe he felt it too, judging by what had just happened.

I sipped my coffee slowly, listening to the sound of raindrops hitting the windows. I was so much deeper than I had thought I was, and it was starting to get dangerous.

The worst part was that I had no idea what he was thinking, ever. The first day he had been kind and warm to me, but after Mrs. Cullen's appearance, his behaviour had hanged. I still couldn't figure out what he had meant when he'd had me trapped against the door that day, the way he had stared down at me with what I had interpreted to be desire… But then, after his argument with Mrs. Cullen, he had avoided me for days. He was like a puzzle that I was unable to even begin to put together. Was I fooling myself to believe that he might feel something for me too? Was it just wishful thinking that he had seemed jealous at my playing around with Emmett and Jasper that day?

I sat at the kitchen table, lost in thought as the sound of the thunder seemed to grow closer. I didn't really look forward to going out in the rain again, but hoped that Mr. Cullen would let me borrow an umbrella.

"You should probably hold on to this." Mr. Cullen's velvet voice came from behind me. I jumped, startled as I had not heard him approach.

I turned in my seat, and then had to catch my jaw from dropping to the floor.

He was standing there, my phone in his hand, wearing a pair of black kakis and a white shirt, top buttons undone. As my eyes trailed over his glorious form, I felt a blush colouring my cheeks. I quickly swallowed and tore my eyes from naked feet. How could every part of him be so beautiful? I met his amused gaze, and my blush deepened as I realized I'd been caught staring.

"Uhm, yes. Thank you, Mr. Cullen." I mumbled, taking the phone from his outstretched hand. I was careful not to touch his skin, knowing I'd probably be unable to restrain myself if I felt that incredible pull from his skin again.

"You're welcome." he said simply, walking past me to the fridge. When he moved, an amazing, almost mouth watering scent hit me. He smelled like all my favourite scents mixed into one. Soap, musk, clean and that unidentified scent that I knew was pure man. Intoxicating…

"Are you hungry?" Mr. Cullen asked as he started rummaging through the shelves.

"No." I lied, hoping my stomach wouldn't rumble and give me away. Of course, two seconds later it did. Loudly.

_Treacherous stomach…_

Mr. Cullen chuckled, "Food it is. You won't be able to go home in quite some time judging by how this storm seems to increase, so it's best if you get something to eat while we wait."

"That's not necessary, I promise. I can walk to the buss, it's not a problem. I'm better dressed this time anyway." I said, not wanting to impose any longer. I felt stupid enough as it were.

"Nonsense." he scoffed, pulling out a carton of eggs from the fridge and putting them on the counter. "If you go out again in this weather you'll get pneumonia and die." he stated, turning to give me a stern look.

I was speechless, and frankly, I didn't want to argue with him. Who was I kidding? I'd much rather stay here with him then go out there in the freezing rain alone.

"I'm afraid my car is at the mechanic, and Tanya has the other one, so I won't be able to drive you. But I'll call a cab for you or walk you to the buss when the storm passes, which ever you prefer."

"I'll take the bus; it'll be fine, thank you." I said quickly, not even wanting to think of how much the cab ride home would cost me.

"As you wish." He started pulling out a bowl and flour from a cabinet, and I couldn't hide my curiosity any longer.

"What are you making?" I asked.

He turned around and smiled widely at me, and in that moment he looked almost 10 years younger. The smile was breathtaking, and it made me smile too in return.

"Pancakes!" he said, and I couldn't help but to laugh at his almost childish expression. Clearly, Mr. Cullen was a fan of the pancakes.

I got up and joined him at the counter, pushing up my sleeves, ready to dig in.

"Okay, put me to work." I smiled.

* * *

"You sure it's not just 2 cups?"

"No, no. It's 3, I promise."

"Should I turn the heat down?"

"No, it's okay, it's gonna be great."

"Can I hold it while you stir?"

"I've got it, don't worry!"

I took a step back and leaned against the kitchen table, watching Mr. Cullen work in what seemed to be his true element. I really couldn't get a hand in no matter how hard I tried, and to be honest it didn't seem as if he needed any assistance. He moved like a pro through the kitchen, flipping pancakes onto a plate next to the stove.

The radio was playing 'One night in Bangkok', and the whole situation seemed so absurd, but also perfectly natural and comfortable. My eyes grew huge as he flipped one pancake up into the air and then caught it in the pan again.

"So if you're this good at cooking, how come you've hired someone to cook for you?" I asked while pulling out glasses and plates and putting them on the table.

Mr. Cullen stiffened slightly, and I worried that I had overstepped a mark with my comment. He had been acting so carefree and relaxed for the last 30 minutes or so, and I found myself relaxing with him and growing more and more at ease in his presence. It reminded me of our first encounter, before the whole Tanya deal. When he was acting like this, he was like a whole other person than the Edward Cullen I had witnessed on other occasions.

"I really only know how to make pancakes." he said, and his voice sounded distant, like he was remembering something from long ago.

"Oh." I said, at a loss for words. Whatever he was remembering, I knew it wasn't something I should dig deeper in. I closed the cabinet and turned to see him staring at the bowl in his hands, a sad smile on his lips.

"It was the only thing my mother, Elizabeth, ever managed to teach me how to make before she passed away." he paused, and when he looked up into my eyes, his were filled with ancient sadness. I wanted to go to him, to comfort him but I was at a loss to know how.

Before I could do anything, he spoke again in a steadier voice.

"My adoptive parents, Carlisle and Esmee, adopted me when I was 9, about a month after my mother had passed away. I didn't have any other relatives, that's why I was placed in foster care." he flipped the pancake onto the growing stack.

"They must be very proud of how well you've done for yourself." I said, offering a tentative smile.

Mr. Cullen ran a hand through his hair, "They don't agree with every decision I've ever made, but they're always very supportive."

I had a strange feeling that there was something else implied in those words, but decided that I shouldn't cross another line. We were quiet then, and I was relieved that it wasn't an awkward silence in any way. Being with him was comfortable, and I hoped he felt the same and didn't regret sharing that part of his past with me.

I grabbed a plastic bowl of strawberries from the fridge, thinking they would go well with the pancakes.

Just as I closed the door, a loud crack sounded through the house, and I realized that the storm was directly above us. Not two seconds later, everything suddenly went black.

"Shit!" I called, dropping the box of strawberries on the floor.

"Hold on, don't move." Mr. Cullen said, and I heard shuffling as he walked carefully towards me. "I think there are matches and candles in the storage room, I'll go get them."

I panicked, terrified of being left alone in the dark room. "Don't leave me!" I cried out, not even caring about how pathetic I sounded. I'd always been afraid of the dark, even as a kid I could never sleep without a night light on.

"Are you okay?" his voice was closer now, and I wished I could see his face. He sounded alarmed, probably due to my panicked tone.

"I don't like the dark." I half whispered, feeling around blindly for something to hold on to.

This could have been a perfect horror movie, I thought. The raging storm, a blackout, an isolated mansion practically in the middle of nowhere…

_Not helping! _My subconscious snapped at me.

And then, everything suddenly changed. A warm hand closed around mine that was still outstretched in the dark, and I felt his long fingers interlace with mine. He squeezed my hand gently, and after the first chock, I couldn't help but to marvel at how perfect his hand fit around mine.

"Come." he said, his voice low and filled with some emotion I didn't recognize. He guided me though the darkness, I moved slowly, not wanting to humiliate myself by tripping over something, or risk him letting go of my hand.

I had no idea how he found his way though the dark, bur I guessed he knew his house well. We paused then, and I heard the sound of a door opening.

"I have no idea where the flashlights are, so this'll have to do." he paused, "I have to let go of your hand, is that okay?"

_No._ "Yes." I said, though it wasn't okay at all. His touch was more of less the only thing that kept me from having a panic attack.

Once again, the absence of his touch was almost painful. My hand seemed to sting, aching to have his back.

I heard a sound of boxes being opened, and then the storage room was lit up by a warm glow.

"There we go." he said, sounding very pleased with himself. I was just happy that I could finally see his face again.

Just like that day when the sun had shone in through the window of his office and made his beauty seem almost otherworldly, the vision of him right then, in the glow of the candlelight was stunning.

His green eyes looked like they had gold in them, and the light danced over his perfect features. I swallowed hard, and once again had to concentrate on not ogling him.

"Better?" he asked, looking straight into my eyes.

"Much." I smiled, suddenly aware of how close we were standing in the small room. I could almost see the atmosphere change, it was so clear to me. My heartbeats seemed to pick up, and I involuntarily stepped forward, drawn by whatever force he had over me.

His eyes were on me the entire time, the conflict in them visible even in the dim light. He opened his mouth, but no words came out. There was nothing I wanted more than to feel his arms around me, to touch my lips to his and let my fingers tangle in his beautiful hair, to envelope myself in everything that was him, and have him do the same.

He was still holding the candle in his left hand, and my breathing faltered as his other hand slowly, hesitantly reached out towards my face. His jaw was clenched shut, eyes troubled as he paused with his fingers only inches from my cheek. I stopped breathing all together, unable to focus on anything but the way he's eyes bored into mine, and how they seemed to be searching for something.

And then his fingers softly grazed my skin. Barely touching, he ran them down my jaw, stopping when he reached the corner of my mouth.

If felt like the world had stopped existing for a moment, my whole body was on fire, my blood singing in my veins. Everything in me craved his touch like air to breathe, screaming for him not to stop.

He closed his eyes tightly, still not moving his hand. I couldn't have moved even if I had wanted to, my feet were frozen to the ground.

The silence was then broken by the only word I didn't want to hear.

"No…" he whispered, and then opened his eyes. "I can't."

His hand dropped from my face, and it felt as if he had just taken half of my heart away. The sharp pain of rejection hit me hard in my stomach, and I exhaled in a gust, realizing I had been holding my breath.

"I'm sorry, this was all my fault. I should go." I said quickly, turning away from him and hoping he couldn't see the tears that were about to spill. Leaving was the last thing I wanted to do, but I knew I couldn't stay now.

"No. I shouldn't have… It was wrong of me, I'm the one who should say I'm sorry." he called after me, and I stopped. "Let's just… Let's go back to the kitchen and I can call you a cab if you want."

I forced a smile onto my face as I turned back to him. "Thank you." I said, fighting back the tears. Of course he wanted me to leave, what had I expected?

I walked behind him back to the kitchen, my thoughts running wild as I watched his tense shoulders. What had just happened? He had wanted to touch me, I knew that now. So that must mean that he also felt something.

Mr. Cullen lit the other candles he had brought, and the room was then filled with a warm light. The sky outside was black, no stars visible through the dark clouds. I was surprised that the storm hadn't died down at all; the thunder was still above us.

I sat down as Mr. Cullen picked up his phone from the table.

"What the…" he mumbled as he stared at it with a perplexed expression.

I got up, "What's wrong?"

"I'm not getting a signal, it must be because of the storm." He ran his hand through his hair, obviously distressed.

I pulled out mine from my pocket and tried to switch it on. Nothing. The battery must have died.

"Mine won't even start." I said, looking over at him. I felt slightly guilty, since a part of me was glad that he wouldn't be able to call me a cab now.

Mr. Cullen sighed and then the corner of his mouth lifted slightly. "Well, I guess you're stuck here with me anyway."

My heart did a triple beat in my chest.

* * *

"You can have the last one." I offered, pushing the plate towards him.

He patted his stomach and grinned, "Uh huh, it's all yours. I've eaten almost twice as many as you have."

I laughed, glad that the mood was back to being relaxed again. The tense atmosphere had disappeared as soon as Mr. Cullen had offered to open a bottle of wine for us.

"Yeah," I said, smiling, "but I'm almost half your size, so it makes sense." I pulled my legs up under me and leaned back on the large, cosy sofa. We had moved into the living room since it had gotten rather cold in the kitchen as the power was out. Mr. Cullen had started a fire in the massive fireplace, and curled under a blanked and with a generous amount of alcohol in my body, I didn't feel cold at all.

It was rather comical, the way we were positioned. We were both sitting on the sofa, but as far from each other as possible without actually sitting on the floor. I didn't know if he had chosen that seat for the same reason that I had, but I had thought it was best to be on the safe side and not risk any casual touches than could mess with his good mood again.

"You have a point." he agreed, smirking as he picked up the plate from the sofa table, "And you're also almost half my age."

Wait, what? Was he trying to convince himself or me?

"Oh, so you're 44 now?" I asked, perhaps a bit sharper than necessary due to the wine in my system. I wasn't a fan of the whole age discussion, seeing as how I didn't think that our 13 year age difference was anything to dwell over. I probably wouldn't have cared if he was 44, anyway.

"Almost." he winked, and picked up his wine glass. I did the same, and decided that it was time to change the subject.

"So, wine and pancakes? That's a pretty unusual combination." I took a sip, enjoying the fine tasting liquid. It was a crisp, white wine, which was my favourite.

He smirked as he took a bite of the pancake, "Well, I think wine is perfect on any occasion."

"That's probably true." I agreed with another sip.

We'd already finished one bottle and started on a second one, and I should probably have slowed down a bit, seeing as how my alcohol tolerance was next to non existent. But the wine helped keeping me relaxed, and our conversation kept floating effortlessly as we sat back and watched the fire.

But of course, after one more glass my eyelids started to drop. I snuggled further into the soft sofa cushions, feeling warm, well fed and very comfortable. And also, more than a little drunk.

A voice in the back of my head scolded me for being close to passing out in front of my boss, in his own living room none the less, but one look in his direction showed that Mr. Cullen was also getting rather sleepy. He was looking straight ahead with a small smile on his lips, wine glass in hand.

_I want__ to fall asleep to that sight every single night,_ I thought as I drifted off.

* * *

She had fallen asleep with her legs curled up under her, and a satisfied expression on her lovely face.

She might be small, but she sure could drink.

_Yeah, and who was it that provided her with wine all night? You wanted her drunk, Cullen. _

Maybe I did, but only so that we could go back to having the same kind of easy conversation we'd had before pulled that stupid move in the storage room.

What had I been thinking? She was just a girl, and I probably scared the shit out of her. Not to mention the fact that I was her boss, which made the situation even worse, if possible.

_Get it together! _I told myself, but it was a lost cause, of course. Ever since I saw her dancing around in my kitchen that first day, she'd been constantly on my mind.

Tanya had sensed, to some degree, my interest in the girl. How could she not? I was sure that it was obvious from the way I looked at her, even she must know by now.

So was it any wonder that I had snapped when I had found her laughing and joking with the gardeners? I wanted to be the one to make her laugh, and instead I'd probably freaked her out when I almost attacked her afterwards.

I had tried to stay away from her after that, spending as much time as possible at my office at the firm. It was both for her sake and mine, because I couldn't let myself fall for this girl, it was too dangerous.

But looking at her now, how she fit so perfectly there next to me on the couch, sleeping peacefully, her breathing slow and steady, I knew that it was too late.

I had already fallen.

She turned in her sleep, and I watched as a smile played on her lips. She looked like she was dreaming pleasant things, and I wished for the millionth time than I could read her mind and find out what she was thinking. Was she dreaming about a boy who could give her all the things I couldn't? Someone who she loved? The though was like torture to my already tormented heart.

It was wrong of me to want her like this, because I could never have her. There was so much that she didn't know about me, and I never wanted to her to have to hear those things. I was fucked up, my entire life was fucked up, and I could never drag her into it. She was pure, not yet ruined by the harsh realities of this world. Showing her my messed up side would surely drive her away, there was no denying that.

I sat lost in my thoughts for a while, feeling how I got more and more tired by the minute. I should probably have woken her up and offered her to sleep in the guestroom, but she looked so calm and comfortable where she lay, that I didn't want to disturb her.

And then she spoke in her sleep, her eyes firmly closed and her full lips parted in a warm smile. The word she said in her low, beautiful voice changed everything, destroyed everything and then built it back up.

"Edward."

She was dreaming of me.

* * *

**Reviews are like Rob with his grizzly beard (yes, I absolutly love it. No one else could pull it off, but he certainly can)**

Hope you liked the chapter! I will be working on Black Crow Island next, I'm in the mood to kill some characters *evil laugh* and then I think I'll be writing our favorite switch ;) I know you want to see more of Edward in his mini skirt.

You know what keeps me going? Reviews! Got any ideas? Wanna guess when we'll get to the prologue? Wanna be my beta? (I desperatly need one, lol) Let me know!

Love


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: S. Meyer owns Twilight.**

**Sorry about the wait, I got caught up in writing other stories for a while. This chapter is dedicated do my friend & roomie, who has been nagging my ass to sit down and fucking write ever since I let her read this ;) **

**Thank you to Kristen who has helped beta this chapter!**

* * *

**Chapter six**

I woke up to the most beautiful and soulful music I had ever heard, it filled the whole room with a magical atmosphere of mystique, longing, and also a strong sense of sadness.

Opening my eyes, I saw that it was still quite dark outside. The fire was burning in the fireplace, casting a warm glow over the living room. I turned my head slowly and was met by the sight of Mr. Cullen sitting by the grand piano at the other side of the room, his head bent and his eyes intent on the keys he was playing.

I couldn't believe how talented he was, it sounded as if there had to be at least two pianists playing to make that kind of music, but there was only him.

Though the song was beautiful to an excruciating degree, the mood of it began to tug at my heartstrings. It held such a mood of hopelessness, like what someone would be playing if they had just lost everything, and had no idea how to get it all back. What affected me the most was the thought of what he could have lost to be playing such a tune.

I placed my feet soundlessly on the floor and pulled the blanket around me as I stood. I guessed he must have been very focused on his music, because he didn't see or hear me approach until I was standing next to the piano.

His head snapped up, and now that I could see his eyes, I realized that the expression in them matched the tenor of the song.

"I'm sorry, did I wake you?" he asked softly, and I couldn't help but to smile. Truth was, I had never woken up in a better way, in my entire life.

"Yes. But I'm glad I woke up, otherwise I wouldn't have heard you play." I reached my hand out and stroked the smooth, shiny surface of the black piano. "You are gifted."

Mr. Cullen chuckled, "I'm not that good anymore." he said. Then with a sad smile he added, "I haven't played in years."

"How come?" I asked, hoping I wasn't being too pushy. I just really wanted to know him, and there were so many questions I wanted to ask.

"I don't know." he sighed, moving his hands from the piano to run them through his hair. "Too much work I guess."

"But you used to play?"

He smiled, and this time it was an honest, warm smile. "All the time."

oOoOoOo

The storm had passed during the night, leaving a dull, grey sky in its absence. It was still drizzling slightly, but nothing too bad.

I stood by the kitchen window, trying to get my jumbled thoughts in order when I felt him come up behind me.

"I've always loved watching the rain. When I was a kid, my mom and I used to sit on the porch for hours. We would be listening to the rain while she read to me from one of her books." his voice was low, distant somehow. It was almost as if he was talking to himself. I remained quiet, hoping he would trust me to share more. If there was a way to get to know this beautiful, complicated man, it was probably through learning about his childhood. From what I had gathered, there was a lot there to learn.

"She read all kind of things, but I was too young to understand most of it. I do remember her having this one book that she wouldn't read to me. I didn't know why, so that's probably why it's the only one I can remember." he continued.

"Murder on the Orient Express." I said unthinkingly, still looking out the window.

Realizing I had actually said the words out loud, I turned towards him to gauge his reaction. He was watching me intently, a perplexed expression on his face.

It was quiet for a minute before he spoke again.

"Yes, it was." he lifted one eyebrow. "How did you know?"

_How did I know?_

"Lucky guess?" I answered, not wanting to reveal the level of effort I put in to trying to read him.

Mr. Cullen nodded slowly, his gaze still fixed on my face.

I squirmed a little, not really comfortable with being inspected so closely. I must have looked horrible, having slept on the couch all night. I didn't even want to think about what my hair must have looked like…

"So," he said, breaking the silence, "are you in a hurry to get home, or could I convince you to stay for breakfast? My car gets here by 11, so I could give you a ride home then. If that's alright with you, of course?"

How could he sound self-conscious? As if there was any way I could _not_ want to spend more time with him.

"That would be great, thank you Mr. Cullen." I said, smiling.

We made breakfast together, talking animatedly while slicing up fresh fruit and fixing coffee. I wasn't really the breakfast eating type, but when I saw the table with all the delicious food, I couldn't help but to feel hungry.

"Wow, this is quite the feast we have going here." Mr. Cullen laughed as we sat down at the table. He picked up a bagel and a knife, "I don't often eat breakfast, since I'm usually home along in the morning."

"I was just thinking that myself." I laughed, "Alice always leaves before I even get up. She works way too much that girl, her boss is seriously-" I stopped short, remembering who it was I was talking to.

Oh fuck, Bella.

Surprisingly, Mr. Cullen just started laughing and handed me the bagel he had just sliced. I looked over at him cautiously, still shocked over my obvious lack of a verbal filter. God damnit, I needed to get one of those, and pronto.

"Don't worry, Miss Swan. I know Tanya can be a bit harsh when it comes to her work." he popped a grape into his mouth and chewed it with a thoughtful expression, "she gets it from her father." he added, and his tone was no longer light hearted.

_Trouble with the in-laws?_ I thought, but decided not to question him about it. Maybe it was better to let him come to me, and avoid pressuring him.

Good god, would I listen to myself? He's a married man! I couldn't keep planning ways to make him mine, it was a lost cause after all.

"I shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry Mr. Cullen." I picked at my bagel, keeping my eyes downcast.

"It's alright. I like that you're saying what's on your mind. It makes reading you much easier."

I snapped my head up, meeting his amused gaze. Read me?

"Yes, you're a very fascinating woman, if I might say so." he smiled, answering my unspoken question.

"Me? Interesting?" I laughed, surprised.

He nodded, "I don't know many 23 year olds who reads Agatha Christie and listens to ABBA." he paused, "or who would take a shower in their employer's house on a Saturday."

I blushed crimson in a second. Even if I lived for a 100 years, I would never forgive myself for that incident. Never.

Mr. Cullen must have seen my mortified expression. He reached over the table and placed his hand over mine.

Of course, the feeling I got was the same as last time. How was it that when he touched me, I felt whole, when I hadn't even realized that something was missing two seconds earlier?

"Hey, you don't have to be embarrassed. I didn't mind at all. You almost gave me a heart attack, but that was just the surprise." he said kindly, and I smiled, taking a sip of my orange juice before digging into the rest of the food.

oOoOoOo

A few hours later, Mr. Cullen parked his car outside of my apartment.

"Thank you so much for everything, Mr. Cullen. And I'm really sorry I broke into your house." I said, fidgeting with my sleeves.

He laughed whole heartedly, shaking his head. "Oh, Miss Swan, the pleasure was all mine, I assure you."

I smiled and reached for the door, still reluctant to leave him. Before I could step out of the car, he took my hand and I turned, surprised to look into his burning eyes. I was frozen, unable to speak or even breathe as he leaned towards me, not looking away from my gaze even once.

The atmosphere had shifted again, and the compact space of his car seemed even smaller now. My heartbeats picked up, only to stop altogether as his face came closer, pausing only inches from mine.

I was hypnotized by his eyes, and as I continued to stare into them, I was reminded of the music he had been playing that morning.

The longing, the sadness, it was all there.

His lips parted slightly, he closed his eyes and seemed to inhale shakily before opening them again. A new intensity was there, and it made my entire body boil with want, need and desperate desire.

I swallowed hard, and dared to lean towards him.

"Isabella…" he breathed. His hand came up to cup my chin, sending sparks through my bloodstream and warming every part of me.

The sound of my name coming from his lips sealed what a part of me already knew. I was falling in love with this man. There was no denying it any longer.

It felt like years passed, during which we sat there in our own little world that had never been as terrifying or beautiful.

Beautiful because I finally knew that he felt something for me too. I could see it, hear it and feel it.

Terrifying because I had no idea what was going to happen now. Had it just been one sided, I could have learned to live with it, though I didn't know if I could ever get over him. But now? Where could this possibly go? He was married, he had a life here, and I was soon leaving to start mine somewhere else.

So why did nothing of that matter as he closed those last inches between us, and I felt his soft, warm lips against my cheek? Why did I still want to turn my head and kiss him, when I knew without a doubt that there was absolutely no way this could end well?

Because I wanted him, no, I needed him so badly that I would take whatever he offered me, even if doing to would hurt me.

My eyes were closed, and it felt like every cell in my body was on fire as I prayed for that second to never end. But it did, of course, and his lips left a warm, tingling mark on my skin.

It was the best kiss I'd ever had.

"Be safe." he whispered, pushing a stray lock of hair behind my ear, before dropping his hand and sitting back in his seat. He kept his eyes straight ahead as I fumbled with the door handle, managing to get to my feet without falling. An impressive feat considering my almost groggy state.

Without looking back, I closed the car door and walked towards my building, feeling fifty shades of confused, and also in desperate need of lying down…

oOoOoOo

"He kissed you _where?_" Alice asked, her eyebrows shooting up. She sat up straight in the couch beside me, mouth hanging open. It was the exact reaction I had been expecting.

"On the cheek." I said in a tone that clearly revealed that I wished he had aimed a little more to the left…

Alice shook her head, "Good god, Bella. What have you gotten yourself into?"

"I don't know." I sighed, running my hand through my hair. The gesture reminded me of him, and I had to smile a little. Guess his mannerisms were rubbing off on me. "What am I gonna do?"

Alice put her coffee cup down on the table, and then reached for my hand. I recognized the expression she was wearing. It was pep talk time.

"Bella, if you would have felt like this about anyone else, I would have applauded you and told you to go for it, because I see how much he has affected you. But there are so many other sides of this to facture in. First of all, he's married. Second, we're leaving in a few months, and thirdly, I'm honestly afraid of what Mrs. Cullen could do to you if she found out about this." she took a deep breath, "I overheard her talking to her father, Mr. Denali, when we were in New York. I got a really bad feeling from hearing what she said, she told her father to call Edward and remind him of a contract he apparently had signed, and told her father to warn him about the consequences of breaking that contract."

I was confused, "Contract? What was it about?"

"I don't know, that was all I heard. But it sounds as if Mrs. Cullen has some kind of hold on her husband, doesn't it?"

I nodded, trying to make sense of it all. Edward had said something about his father in law, hadn't he? I searched through my memory, and after I few minutes I remembered.

"_I know Tanya can be a bit harsh when it comes to her work. She gets it from her father."_

So if there was a contract involved, and if those words meant what I thought they did, could it be that Mr. Cullen was involved in business with Mr. Denali?

I told Alice about my theory, and she listened intently.

"But what kind of contract?" she asked when I was finished, "and why would Mrs. Cullen think that her husband needed a reminder now?"

"I have no idea… And Alice, I know it's not my place, but I need to get to the bottom of this." I said, chewing on my bottom lip. Whatever it was, I had a strange feeling that I was somehow involved.

oOoOoOo

I wasn't sure which one of all Mr. Cullen's sides I had expected to encounter when I showed up for work the following Monday. I had feared that he would have gone back to the way he was before the blackout, that he would have closed himself off again, but at the same time I didn't want to believe that could happen. Too much had passed between us, or so I thought.

Would he be remote and cold, or would some of what I had discovered about his more gentle and compassionate side during that Saturday remain?

As it turned out, the Mr. Cullen I met Monday morning wasn't either of those.

When I entered the house after saying goodbye to Emmett and Jasper, my eyes immediately sought him out. He was just coming down the stairs, briefcase in hand. So he would not be working from home, it seemed.

He looked over at me when I closed the door behind me and appeared to tense, his eyes holding an emotion I couldn't decipher.

"Good morning, Miss Swan." he said. I was disturbed by the fact that he sounded too formal, and there was also a distance in his voice that scared me.

What the hell was up?

"Mr. Cullen." I nodded, shuffling my feet. I didn't know whether to keep walking or wait for him to say something more, so I remained where I was.

There was a moment of silence, and then he began to step forward, his eyes still holding mine. I stiffened as he approached, unsure of what he was going to do. Was Tanya home? Would he kiss me again? Stoke my cheek and whisper in my ear once more? I waited, holding my position and preparing myself for anything. My skin longed for his touch, and I craved the sensation of his hands on me as one craved air after being under water too long.

But just as he reached me, not having blinked once, his eyes suddenly closed, and he continued to walk past me.

I felt like I had gotten the air knocked out of me, I let out the breath I'd been holding and turned just to see him open the door and disappear through it without a backwards glance. I was left alone, standing motionless in the middle of the room with no idea what had just happened, or why.

If Tanya didn't kill me, the whiplashes his mood swings were giving me surely would.

So this was the new Edward I would have to deal with? The one who pretended that I was no one special, that I hardly even existed? Perhaps he would treat me like he did the rest of his staff, I had no way of knowing.

What I did know was that I didn't have anything to say in the matter, because if he decided that I was nothing more than the maid, then that was it. There was no way for me to make him see me in another way, neither did I know if I wanted him to if he continued this. How much disappointment and rejection would I have to take from him before I broke down? Had I not felt so strongly for him, I would have said that I wouldn't take any more than what he had already given me.

But I knew that I would keep reaching out, and keep taking what ever was offered. I was already in too deep, and the surface seemed to disappear farther and farther by the second.

oOoOoOo

The rest of that week continued in much the same fashion as the previous week had. Neither Mr or Mrs. Cullen were to be seen during the day, I only ran in to Mrs. Cullen once on Friday morning, when she told me that I had to take her coat to the dry cleaners and pick up a package at the post office. I didn't mention that those tasks were not in the job description, figuring that she was probably still looking for a reason to fire me.

When I returned to the house with Mrs. Cullen's coat and package that evening, I caught a glance of Mr. Cullen just as he went up the stairs. I stared after him for a minute, wondering what he would be doing that night, and then went to hang the coat in the closet and leave Mrs. Cullen's package on the table in the foyer. I was glad that another week was over, but couldn't shake the feeling of unease over how things had turned out with Mr. Cullen.

Alice had seen how miserable I'd been all week, and decided that what I needed was a night out with her and the guys. So that Friday I had agreed to go to a club in town, and I was actually looking forward to drowning my sorrows in massive amounts of alcohol. It seemed like the right thing to do.

"Ready to shake that thang tonight, Bella?" Emmett chuckled as we got into their car at 5 o clock, when we'd all finished work for the week.

I laughed, "Did you just say 'thang'?"

"Oh believe me, honey, you'll hear worse things than that once Emmett has got a beer or two in his system." Jasper turned on the ignition and reversed out onto the road, "I've witnessed it a few too many times, unfortunately."

"Hey! I'm an entertaining drunk! Don't go scaring her off, Jazz." Emmett whined from the backseat, crossing his arms over his chest. The gesture made me laugh even harder, and I closed my eyes as I relaxed back into my seat, glad that I had a night of nothing but fun in front of me.

"Yeah you are, especially when you start taking your clothes off and sing Miley Cyrus songs at the top of your lungs."

"That was _one_ time!"

"Three times." Jasper corrected.

I turned to smile at Emmett, snickering when I saw his sheepish grin. "Miley?" I asked with an eyebrow raised.

"Hey! Don't go pretending as if you've never danced around to _The Climb_ when you've been home alone. That girl can sing; god damnit."

"So you're a Miley fan?" Oh god, this was hilarious. Tall, dark and handsome Emmett McCarty listened to the same music as every 13 year old girl around the world. He sure was full of surprises, that one.

Emmett chuckled, "It was the Hannah Montana show that pulled me in."

Well, at least I knew what I could expect on a night out with Emmett.

oOoOoOo

"_It's a party in the USA!"_ We all yelled on the top of our lungs, but none of us as loud as Emmett.

Alice had thought that Emmett's taste in music was so strange that it was actually brilliant, and we were now listening to song after song with the teenage sensation. It was 11:20 already, but Alice had assured me that there was no point in going out before 11:30, so we were now putting on our shoes and preparing to leave our apartment. Jasper had called a cab already; we were heading to the club "Rainbow", which according to Alice and Emmett was the place to go on a Friday night.

I was already a little bit drunk, but I had eaten plenty of the Chinese food Alice had ordered for us, so I figured I'd be okay.

"Just one more? I really need to hear _7 Things_ before we go!" Emmett pleaded, and when we all gave him a look as if we questioned his sanity. "It puts me in the mood, okay?" he added.

Jasper stepped forward and patted Emmett on the back, "It's alright Emmett. Let the 13 year old girl inside you out, we won't judge you."

"I'm a man!" Emmett exclaimed, obviously offended.

I tried to hold back my laughter, but it didn't quite work.

"Sure you are, sure you are." Jasper continued to pat Emmett's back while Alice and I giggled to ourselves, covering our mouths with our hands.

"Screw this." Emmett mumbled, pulling on his boots. "I'm gonna choke down beer and find a lady to grind against, then you'll see how manly I can be."

He opened the front door and stalked out, grumbling all the way. Alice, Jasper and I exchanged amused glances before we followed him outside. I just hoped they wouldn't be playing Miley songs on Rainbow.

oOoOoOo

"Just one more, please Bella!" Alice squealed, tugging on my arm.

I sighed, not sure if I should have another shot of tequila judging by how the whole room seemed to be spinning. I was pretty sure the room wasn't really rotating, so it must be in my own head.

"I don't know, Alice." I answered, glancing down at my watch. It was 2:15 and I was getting seriously tired, not to mention the place was getting more and more crowded by the minute and the men were getting grabby. I didn't like it, and Emmett, who had promised to shield me from unwanted admirers, had found some blond girl to make out with in the middle of the dance floor.

Just as I was about to tell Alice that I wanted to be heading home soon, I spotted a familiar face across the bar.

"Is that Jared?" I asked, squinting my eyes to see through the dark.

Alice followed my gaze, "Jared? As in your high school sweetheart, Jared?"

"Yeah. It must be him, I'll never forget that crazy hair!" I laughed, remembering how his hair always looked as if he'd just gotten out of bed, no matter what time in the day it was. "I'm just gonna go over there and say hi, will you be alright?"

She nodded, "I'll go join Jasper. Find us when you're ready for that shot, okay?"

"Will do!" I started making my way through the tightly packed bodies, hoping I didn't step on anyone's toes.

I reached Jared eventually, and poked his shoulder twice to get his attention.

"Hi, Jared." I said when he turned around, and was greeted with a huge smile followed by a bear hug.

"Bella! How have you been, girl?" Jared held me at arms distance, looking me over.

"Great, I've just graduated and am just waiting to leave for New York, more or less. What about you?"

He shrugged, "Same, except for the New York part. I'm staying here and joining my dad's firm in the fall."

I sat down on the empty stool next to him, nodding and mouthing 'margarita' when the bartender asked if I wanted anything to drink.

"I remember that was your plan, you used to talk about it all the time."

"Yeah, when we weren't busy making out in my room." he winked, and then we both laughed at the memory.

"I'll never forget that time your mom walked in on us… I don't think I've ever been so embarrassed in my entire life!"

"Not even when Coach Carr found us under the bleachers? When we were skipping class because you refused to play badminton with Jessica Stanley?"

I threw my head back and laughed wholeheartedly, remembering that day with full clarity. Jared and I had been together for 2 years, and had experienced practically everything with each other.

We laughed and shared memories for the rest of the night, and I was happy that Jared's presence helped me keep my thoughts of another man at bay. I had almost succeeded in not thinking about _him_, but it was all ruined when Jared asked where I was working for the summer.

I quickly decided that it was time for me to leave, since I didn't know what could come out of my mouth when I was intoxicated.

"You know what; I really need to get going. I bet Alice is wondering where I'm at." I blurted out, standing up and grabbing my purse.

Jared stood as well, "Oh, sure. But don't let it be this long before we catch up again, okay?" he pulled me in for a hug, and I put my arms around his neck. Just as I was about to let him go, I suddenly saw two piercing, green eyes stare back at me through the crowd of people.

_No way._

Edward Cullen was there.

* * *

_There's nothing I love more than a surprise appearence in the middle of the night. How 'bout you?_

**Reviews are like Rob wearing a pair of jeans that hangs on his hips in _that_ way.. **All you who have read Master of the Universe knows what I'm sayin'. And if you haven't, shame on you! Go read it now, and make sure you have plenty of time ahead of you, 'cause you'll be stuck infront of the computer for 2-3 days, I promise. Go to www. 50shades. com and get blown away by the sexiest story ever known to man.

Thank you all so much for commenting and following this story :)


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: S. Meyer owns Twilight. **

**In a sudden flash of inspiration, I wrote the whole chapter in just one night. I figured I owed you to post now after making you wait so long between the updates recently. **

**Anyway, hope you like it!**

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**Chapter seven**

I blinked, trying to make the illusion of Mr. Cullen go away.

_Blink._

Still there.

_Blink, blink._

Not moving.

_Blink, blink, blink. _

Probably not an illusion then.

"Bella, are you alright?" Jared asked, causing me to jump slightly. I tore my eyes away from Mr. Cullen and saw that Jared was watching me, both his eyebrows raised.

"I'm fine." I managed to get out while my eyes drifted back to my non-illusion, who seemed to be just as surprised to see me as I was to see him. Slowly, he started moving walking towards me through the thick crowd.

I turned back to Jared, "I'll give you a call and we'll have dinner someday, okay?"

"Sure thing." he smiled, taking my hand and giving it a light squeeze, "Take care, Bella."

I barely heard him, I was already moving, pushing through the throngs of people who were blocking my path. It felt like there was a magnet dragging me forward, I had no choice but to follow the invisible pull Mr. Cullen had on me.

I was walking slowly, since I was very aware that I was both a bit intoxicated and also in heels, and I never let go of his gaze. His eyes were piercing into mine, and soon we were standing face to face, still lost in our own strange little bubble.

He looked amazing, of course, wearing an open black jacket with a white tee underneath and black jeans. His hair was even more messy than usual; a sign that he had been running his hands through it a lot during the night.

I felt his eyes trailing down my body, taking in the light grey top, black jeans and the red heels. I was instantly glad that I had chosen to dress up for the night. Or rather, I was that Alice had picked out clothes for me to wear.

Our moment of silence was interrupted when someone bumped into me hard from behind, causing me to fall forward helplessly. I didn't have time to comprehend what was happening before a pair of hands gripped my shoulders, and I was being held against a strong, muscular chest.

"Hey, did he hurt you?" a smooth voice called, and I looked up to see that Mr. Cullen was watching me anxiously. He was still holding me against his chest, and I took the opportunity to breathe in deeply, relishing in his wonderfully manly scent.

_Bad girl, Bella. _

I smiled, really quite pleased with being shoved he was the one to catch me.

"No, no. I was just caught of guard, no worries."

"I should go after that fucker and make hi-" Mr. Cullen stopped himself, and he looked as surprised as I was over his words.

We stared at each other for a minute, and then I broke out in laughter. I had no idea why, but the whole situation just seemed so comical all of the sudden. It didn't take long before he was also laughing, and then we had to move since people were beginning to get a bit aggressive in their dancing.

My heart sank when he let go of my shoulders and straightened me up, but then he took my hand and lead me off the dance floor. I looked around to see if I could spot Alice, knowing she would probably be looking for me soon. I didn't see her, but I was too caught up in trying to process what was happening to care much at the moment.

Mr. Cullen took me to a booth behind the bar where there weren't as many people and the music wasn't as loud. I took a seat, expecting him to sit on the other side but he sat down next to me, forcing me to scoot in to make room.

Okay, so now I was trapped.

"Are you here alone?" he asked.

I wasn't even thinking before I blurted out "Yes." and then felt a blush colour my cheek. I didn't want him to think that I had to leave to met up with someone, but he'd probably think I was crazy if I went to this kind of place on my own. "I mean, I came here with my friends but I don't know where they went."

"So you're not with that guy I saw you talking to by the bar?"

I don't know if it was the alcohol in my body, or how I was sick of how his mood swings once again left three steps behind, but something in me decided that I needed to speak up. I would regret it in the morning, and I would really regret it the coming Monday when I wouldn't have a job to go to.

"You know what, Mr. Cullen, even if I were; it's really none of your business, is it?" I spat, feeling the anger build up inside of me. I guess my verbal filter got washed away with that third shot of tequila.

His eyes darkened, and for a second his expression almost scared me. He looked almost angry, I could feel the frustration roll off of him in waves.

"No, Isabella. It is none of my business." he said in a low voice, pronouncing my name in a way that had the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. I bit down on my lip, unsure if I should continue. His eyes warned me to take things further, but some part of me kept pushing, saying that I had already began so I might as well get it all out there.

I straightened up and stared him straight in the eyes, trying, and probably failing, to look fierce. "So why do you care?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

He shook his head, "You have no idea what you do to me, have you?"

I almost gasped, but before I had time to think of a way to respond, he continued, his voice growing darker and rougher with each word.

"You don't know what it does to me when you look at me, how it feels when I touch you or when I catch your scent in the air. You don't know what it's like to watch you joke around and laugh with other men, when all I want is to be the one who makes you laugh."

I was speechless. Literally, I couldn't form a single coherent thought to put into words. I stared at him, trying to take in what he had just said. I shook my head slowly back and forth, struggling to find my voice again.

He sighed heavily and ran his hand through his hair, then released my gaze, his eyes shifting to an empty glass on the table.

I knew I had to say something, anything. He had just laid his heart out there, and I needed to reassure him that I did know what all that felt like, because it was the same for me. Worse, it was even stronger for me.

But which words to choose?

I bit down on my lip, cursing the chaos that was taking place in my head. Why couldn't I think clearly? Why couldn't I speak, god damnit.

Just as I opened my mouth, still not sure what would come out, Mr. Cullen's eyes found mine again. They were different, not burning with the intensity I had seen before, but empty, almost as if the fire in them had gone out.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say all that, I just couldn't keep it to myself any longer. I'm sorry." he said again, and then to my great horror, he started to get up.

_Why aren't you saying something? _I yelled at myself, panicked, but still there was nothing.

His jaw was clenched shut, he looked me in the eyes for one more minute and then he stood up, turning his back to me and disappearing into the crowd.

I sat there, staring after him. I was in shock. That must be it. That was why I couldn't move or speak. Was I even breathing?

I gasped for air when that thought came, and realized that I had indeed been holding my breath the entire time. Pulling out my phone from my bag, I saw that Alice had texted me, asking where I was. I wrote her back with shaking fingers, saying that I was still at the club and had bumped in to an old friend. I asked her to go home without me, and that I would stay a bit longer.

When I had sent the text, I sat still for a moment, staring straight ahead.

He cares for me. He really cares for me, he had told me how he felt and I had said… nothing. Not a single word.

Oh, good God, what had I just done? I had to find him, I had to tell him that I felt the same and I had to explain everything. But where did he go?

I looked around, searching the sea of people for a patch of that familiar bronze hair. Getting up, I made my way along the edge of the dance floor, reaching up on my heels now and then to try and see above people's heads. It was all to no avail, I couldn't see anything but the collective heap of people jumping up and down to the beat of the music.

I sighed, coming to the conclusion that he had probably already left.

I cursed myself for my stupidity and speechlessness, which had now caused me the chance to ever have a chance to tell Mr. Cullen how I felt. Surely after this night, I would never see him again. I couldn't go back to work after this, could I? Would he expect me to come back?

Deciding that I'd probably do best in leaving now before the club closed and everyone would try to get a cab for themselves, I made my way towards the exit, still searching for him among the tightly packed bodies surrounding me.

I was beginning to get a bit claustrophobic, there were so many people here and I didn't feel as if I made any progress in moving forward. I felt my pulse pick up, a sure sign that a panic attack was pending. Ever since I was a kid I had gotten panicked whenever there were too many people around me, I felt suffocated and had trouble breathing right, which led to the panicking.

Just when I felt my breath start to become shallow, I saw a door to my left. Not caring where it led to, I made a dash for it, pushing the people around me out of my way, which was easier said then done. I couldn't believe that it was even legal to have this many people in one place. I pushed on the door and almost fell on my face when it slid open easily, revealing a narrow hallway. It was dimly lit and packed with storage boxes along the walls, filled with posters from the look of it.

I closed the door behind me. I was pretty sure that this place was off limits, but I needed to take a minute to calm down and breathe before I got out there again. I leaned against the wall, and then slid down so that I was seated on the floor, since my legs didn't want to carry my any more. Also, my feet were hurting from walking in heels all night so it felt good to let them rest for a bit.

I could still hear the music from the club clearly, and the loud chatter of voices coming from the people on the other side of the door. I exhaled deeply, and focused on getting my thoughts back in order.

A while later I heard a bell as from an elevator, and then the distinct sound of footsteps coming towards me down the hallway. I scrambled to my feet, not so keen on getting caught here. Just as I was about to turn and dodge out of there, I heard my name being called.

Of course I knew exactly who it was.

"Bella?"

I turned slowly, feeling a blush spread over my face. Someone was probably enjoying messing with me, why else would I find myself in an empty hallway with _him_ of all people? Not that many people would hang around in empty hallways like this, but still. What was he doing here?

"What are you doing here?" he asked, echoing my thoughts. He was walking towards me, but stopped before he was close enough for me to see his face clearly in the dim light.

I swallowed, hoping that my voice wouldn't fail me this time. "I kind of panicked out there in the crowd, I needed to breathe so I just opened the door and went in."

_Wow, Bella. Those were actual w__ords. Didn't think you had it in you._

I rolled my eyes at my snarky subconscious.

Mr. Cullen stepped forward, "Are you okay? Do you need to sit down?" his every word was laced concern, and now that I could see his expression, I noticed that his face was anxious, but also a bit wary.

I shook my head, forcing a smile onto my lips, "I'm fine now, thank you."

He nodded, and we were both silent for a while. I fidgeted with the rings on my left hand, wondering what to say now.

"Could I offer you some water, at least?"

As he said the words, I realized that I was in fact parched. The taste tequila was still strong in my mouth, so it would feel good to chase it away with water. Also, it would give me an opportunity to talk to him and to try and say the words I hadn't been able to say before. At least that was what I hoped, but knowing me I'd probably freeze up again.

_Then show him instead of telling him. _

I considered it, choosing not to listen to the voice in the back of my head that kept screaming "married!" on the top her lungs. I was way past that, and I knew it.

I smiled an earnest smile this time, "I'd like that." I said, and turned towards the door, figuring we would be heading back to the bar. I wouldn't mind facing the crowds if Mr. Cullen was there with me.

But before I could reach for the door handle, he spoke again.

"Actually, I was thinking we'd go this way." he motioned with his head in the opposite direction, and started walking down the hall. I was confused, but followed him. Guess he was taking me wherever it was he had come from.

"What were you doing here, anyway?" I asked, careful not to trip on any of the boxes as we made our way through the darkened corridor.

"I know the owner of this place, and he lives upstairs. I was just…" he trailed off, and I didn't question him further. I guessed he had needed to get away too.

We reached an elevator door after turning a corner and Mr. Cullen pressed a button that opened the doors. Stepping inside, I tried not to look at him. I was afraid of what I would see in his eyes after all that had happened.

The elevator doors closed, and in a matter of seconds, I could feel that familiar, strange atmosphere surround us. The pull between us grew stronger, and I clenched my fists to stop myself from reaching out to him.

_Show him._ My subconscious reminded me then, giving me a mental kick in the ass.

Without any real thought, I threw all carefulness and hesitation aside. I reached out and pressed the stop button, and the elevator immediately came to a halt, causing us both to lose our balance for a second.

"What are you-" Edward began to ask, but I didn't let him finish. Everything I had felt for the last couple of weeks came crashing down on me. Every pent up sexual frustration and every emotion that I had so stubbornly been beating down bubbled up to the surface, and I turned to him, looking deep into his eyes as I reached my hand out towards his. Our fingers interlocked and the pleasant sense of electricity flowed through my veins at his touch. I pulled him towards me as I stepped back until I was pressed against the elevator wall, his body flush against mine.

My breathing got heavier as I stared up into his hungry, smouldering green eyes. His full lips were a temptation I could not resist anymore, I had already tried for so long now.

"Bella…" he said in a deep, smooth voice.

I placed a finger over his lips, feeling their softness under my fingertip.

"Everything you said," I began, my voice steady now as I let my fingers stroke his cheek and then bury themselves in his wonderful hair, "I feel the same."

He exhaled, and his sweet breath against my skin shredded whatever chance there had been of me backing down.

I reached up, slowly closing the distance between our lips while still holding his gaze. His hands roamed my sides, and my fingers locked into his hair, pulling his head down to meet mine. When there was no more than an inch between us, he stopped.

"There are things you need to know." he whispered, and his tone revealed how conflicted he felt. I was too far gone to think about anything besides his lips on me, so I just shook my head slightly and pulled him closer.

"It doesn't matter." my lips almost touched his as I spoke, I wanted to close that last inch but he held back, his eyes intense and cautious.

"It does matter, I can't do this if I don't…"

I silenced him the only way I could think of. I kissed him. I finally reached a bit further and let my lips touch his, and then I almost melted in his arms as he began to kiss me back fiercely, moulding his body to mine. My heart was beating almost painfully in my chest, all I wanted was for him to be closer, to kiss me deeper, to touch more and harder and to let me do the same.

A second later, I got my wish fulfilled.

He grabbed hold of my waist and lifted me up, and I locked my legs around his waist as he pressed against me, holding me tightly against the wall. All I could feel was him, all I could see and hear and taste was him. I was on an Edward Cullen high, and I never wanted to come down.

His lips were so soft against mine, but he used them in a way that could not be described as gentle, which suited me perfectly. He began to kiss a trail down my throat, and I threw my head back, giving myself over to the exquisite sensation.

The only sound in the small elevator was our heavy breathing and mumbled words of pleasure coming from our lips.

As his lips moved down my throat and to my collarbone, I almost came undone. The feeling of his lips against me, combined with the heat radiating off of him, was overwhelming, I moved my hips against him to gain friction, and was encouraged with a deep, guttural groan as he pushed back against me.

"Isabella…" his voice was muted as he spoke against my skin, and the trembling of his lips sent me spiralling even deeper into the whirlwind of pleasure I was experiencing.

I untangled my hands from his hair and gently took hold of his jaw, angling his face up so that I could touch my lips to his again. The deep, warm feeling his kiss gave me had me panting, and I hugged him closer, still moving my hips against him.

His lips left mine for a second, and I exhaled, completely lost in everything that was him.

"Oh God, Edward, that feels so good." I whispered as he kissed a trail along my jaw, leaving every inch of my skin tingling.

I was a bit baffled when he started chuckling all of the sudden, his body shaking and doing strange but oh so good things to me.

He lifted his eyes to mine, and a happy, almost boyish smile lit up his face. "That's the first time you've consciously called me by my first name."

My eyebrows furrowed in confusion, "Consciously?" I asked, perplexed over his choice of words.

"Well, perhaps this can't be considered as consciously, seeing as how it was kind of in the heat of a very, very hot moment, but yes. You've never said it to me before." he was still smiling, he leaned forward and buried his nose in my hair, inhaling deeply.

"I still don't know what you mean, but right now I can't be expected to think clearly so you will have to excuse me." I mumbled, nibbling gently on his earlobe. He groaned, flexing his hips against me and causing a very, very pleasant sensation in my lower body. I whished that there were so much fabric in the way, I was getting desperate to feel him, all of him against me.

Drawing on my new found confidence, I reached down between us and let my fingers play around the rim of his jeans, testing the waters a bit so to speak. He instantly stiffened, but he didn't stop me so I kept going, reaching my hand inside his jeans. I already knew I what would find, it had been obvious ever since he pressed his body against me the first time, and I was very eager to feel him without the clothes barrier between us.

I looked up and saw that his eyes were closed, his head thrown back and with his mouth slightly open. Guessing I was really on the right track, and quite positive that he wouldn't stop me, I reached further.

The elevator suddenly shook once, and then began to move.

"Shit, shit, shit." he chanted, taking hold of my waist and putting me on the floor again. "Someone pushed for the elevator." he straightened his shirt and ran his hand through his hair, not achieving anything except for messing it up even more.

"Someone?" I asked, trying to smooth my hair down.

He gave me a serious look, "My friend, Peter, most likely, since it is his place."

"Oh." I managed to say, growing nervous. What would his friend say when he found us in an elevator, both of us with swollen lips, sex hair and wrinkled clothing? I really hoped that Peter wasn't a smart guy.

My heart was still beating fast, both from the excitement of what we had just shared, but also from the stress of what would happen when those elevator doors opened.

"Hey." Mr. Cullen said, and I looked up to see him watching me. He stroked my cheek softly with the back of his hand. "Don't worry, Peter is a good guy. We've been friends for years." I nodded, chewing on my lip. It kind of tasted like him, I noticed with a small smile.

The elevator stopped and the doors opened, revealing a surprised, brown haired man holding a box in his muscled arms. He looked from me to Mr. Cullen, a crease forming between his eyebrows.

Mr. Cullen cleared his throat, "Peter, I'd like you to meet Isabella Swan." he glanced down at me, a smile tugging at the edge of his mouth, "Isabella, this is Peter. He's very good at keeping secrets."

* * *

**I like secrets! Well, at least if I'm in on them. **

**Reviews are like seeing all those new pics from the BD shoot. 'Cause damn, Robward is looking mighty fine behind the wheel of a speedboat. **

**Lots of love to all of you who keep reading, reviewing and encouraging me to write this! Thank you!**


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